Should You Friend Your Spouse?

One of my favorite moments in the history of social nets is the scene in The Myspace Movie when the girlfriend looks at her boyfriend’s myspace page and realizes she’s not in his top friends and goes beserk.

Social nets are great for meeting people, connecting, etc. but they pose some specific problems for those in a relationship. What exactly is the role of the boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse in your social network?

The Gotham Gal reads this blog every day but has never commented on it. Is she a member of this community? Maybe, but not a particularly active one. I comment on her blog from time to time, but it always feels a bit strange when I do that.

I started thinking about this the other day when I saw a twitter post from Kylie that said:

      Has convinced the husband to sign up for Twitter and give it a spin!

The Gotham Gal doesn’t Twitter and she doesn’t follow my Twitters (other than those she sees on my blog). But the fact that I was riding to the GWB this morning would have been interesting to her since I left the house before she got up. I can see how it might be useful.

She doesn’t have a Facebook profile, a myspace profile, or any social networking presence other than her blog (which is the best profile on can have in my book). So all my social networking activity is  basically  invisible to her. I don’t think that’s a big deal one way or another.

Unless, of course, there are problems in a marriage. Brad Stone had a story in yesterday’s NY Times on the amount of electronic surveillance that spouses in troubled marriages do on each other. There was no mention of social networking in that article, but I have to believe social nets will find their way into divorce court soon enough if they haven’t already.

If social nets are going to map our social relationships correctly, they’ll have to include our closest relationships. I am sure that for many who are ten or twenty years younger than me, they do. But as my generation goes social networking, do we take our closest relationships with us? Of that, I am not sure.

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