Women Entrepreneurs

A few weeks ago, I spent the day at NYU ITP at the Womens Entrepreneurs Festival. This is a one day event put on by The Gotham Gal and her friend Nancy Hechinger who is on the faculty at NYU ITP.

In its second year, the WE Festival features a day of panels and talks featuring women entrepreneurs. Men can attend and do, but the stage is filled with women all day long. It's a very different experience from the typical startup/tech event and I highly recommend it to anyone who is eager to see more women doing startups.

My favorite panel was called Makers and featured five women who love to create things and have started companies to pursue their passions as makers. Here's a video of that panel. The video is 90mins, but the presentations are the most imporant part and they only last for about 35mins. The audio isn't great. I suggest you put on headphones and turn the volume up.

What these five women make clear is that anyone can be an entrepreneur and that women are natural makers and innovators. It is also interesting to see how each of them is using the Internet and technology more broadly to innovate around a product that is physical. There's a lot to learn from what they are doing.

My oldest daughter, who is a junior in college, was in attendance that day. She was inspired by these women and came away with a sense that the world is full of possibilities for women. That's the whole point of the WE Festival.

#entrepreneurship

Comments (Archived):

  1. Rohan

    #makers-not-bankers

    1. andyswan

      I know this is a popular rallying-cry, but GOOD bankers do a lot of good for the world.  Credit and the proper allocation of capital are essential tools of innovation, growth and opportunity.We don’t really need to shame talented and honest people away from such a critical profession. It’s reactionary and counter-productive.

      1. Rohan

        I agree.As with all these hash tags, quotes and I’d say most things in life – Everything in moderation.I find, more and more, that balance is a natural principle.Just like you swim an hour every morning so you don’t have to restrict yourself in terms of what you eat during the day. And it’s same as the ‘many hands make light work’ vs ‘too many cooks spoil the broth’ conundrum. Everything in moderation..

      2. FAKE GRIMLOCK

        ANYTHING BECOME BAD WHEN BALANCE TIP TOO FAR.BALANCE TIP SO FAR TO BANKERS, WORLD FLIP UPSIDE DOWN.

        1. JamesHRH

          BINGO!Systems need Balance. Balance requires tension between the parts. Banking got whatever they wanted, since about 1990 – no pushback, no tension, fall down, go bust.Likely another round of it coming, as bailouts appear to have relieved any tension that was being applied to banking, although I am not near enough to know.

      3. kidmercury

        it’s especially ridiculous to hear the “makers not bankers” cry on a VC blog. if you look at the food chain VCs are basically in the business of generating IPOs for bankers. not that i view finance as a dishonorable profession, only observing the irony here. 

        1. JamesHRH

          Kid, if you listen to the DickC interview, you can hear how little he desires an IPO.In the end, VC is about generating returns to LPs. I doubt that there is any religion on the vehicle.

          1. kidmercury

            no, i heard dick express disdain for the interview process, not for the IPOs. if he didnt want an IPO he would not have taken the bazillion dollars in VC money that was thrown at him. because they took that money, there is only one place for them to go. saying VCs have to generate returns for LPs is true, but it’s talking in circles. until VCs disrupt themselves and create a new value network, generating returns for LPs means they have to generate IPOs. they still play the hits game whereby a few big wins makes up for all the losses and then some. acquisitions can’t do it all especially when they want to invest at huge valuations. ergo, they need to dump the bubble onto the public to cash out.  

          2. LE

            ” if he didnt want an IPO”And of course you of all people know that what someone says publicly may be different than what the truth is.

          3. fredwilson

            that wasn’t Dick’s choice. there is a board at Twitter.

          4. kidmercury

            fair enough, i’m not trying to demonize dick as i’m sure he’s a decent person and an excellent executive. whether it was the board or dick or whoever, once they took all that money, the options become restricted as to how the return on this investment gets generated.

        2. Rohan

          Hmm. It seems to have touched a nerve in your case kid. Few thoughts..1. Of course it’s ironical. Most things in life are. And it is equally ironical that close to 40% of value in the US in 2006-07 was ‘created’ in banking. As the grimster says, the balance did tip. 2. Good VC’s are not all about transaction. They help businesses grow and help makers get better. (like good bankers, who make capital possible)3. It wasn’t said in all seriousness.. and was definitely not meant to offend bankers or an industry. Since when did we start taking hashtags so seriously? 🙂

          1. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            WHEN DIG INTO NUMBERS, MOST OF RECESSION IS RESULT OF EVERYONE REALIZE ILLUSIONARY MONEY INVENTED BY BANKS JUST ILLUSION.THIS NOT RECESSION US IN. IT REALITY.

          2. laurie kalmanson

            it was a ponzi scheme. they work well for short periods of time.

        3. fredwilson

          i don’t see that as my role. i see my role as helping entrepreneurs achieve their goals, whatever they may be

          1. Donna Brewington White

            Being a VC just happens to be one of the ways you do that — and of course gives you a stronger platform.Not making a point here.

      4. LE

        “popular rallying-cry”You didn’t know? It’s a strategy by lawyers to draw the heat away from the formerly most unpopular for years profession. Surely you know the joke about lawyers and the bottom of the ocean with the punch line being “a good start”.(I agree with you by the way..)

        1. FAKE GRIMLOCK

          LAWYERS, BANKERS, SHOULD BE PIPES. INFRASTRUCTURE NO ONE NOTICE.INSTEAD PIPES GET GREEDY. NOW PIPES IN CONTROL.WHEN HIGHWAY START HOLDING TRUCKS HOSTAGE, EVERYTHING FALL APART.

          1. LE

            “INSTEAD PIPES GET GREEDY. NOW PIPES IN CONTROL.”Blame pipes getting greedy on disclosure and ranking (ala law.com stories on law firm revenue and pay).http://www.law.com/jsp/tal/…#penisenvy

    2. Tom Labus

      Good bankers are essential to progress.They are still recovering from a period of mass financial insanity.

  2. William Mougayar

    Joanne’s leadership by example and by supporting women-led startups and businesses is certainly helping this a lot. I think she has become a magnet for this topic.

  3. FinLit

    The WE Festival! was impressive–great panels of motivated women excited to inspire others.I sat next to a Co-founder (a woman who already has sold her first start-up and is a student at UPenn) of a new online resource to source students for work opportunities.  It’s different and better than what’s already out there…run by college students nationally “on the ground.”FinLitTV® on campus financial literacy events, by students for students–we’re adding to campus ambassadors to plan events.  This new online resource will make that outreach seamless, thanks to serendipity at WE Festival! 

  4. Avi Deitcher

    Thanks for sharing, just sent off to my wife.Q: why are women (apparently) such a small percentage of entrepreneurs, and especially tech entrepreneurs, that a “Women’s Entrepreneurs” day is even necessary? I know this is loaded, but I would like some views on it. Is it the underrepresentation in engineering schools? Does it go back earlier, to however many girls in school are taught (explicitly or implicitly) that “math is too hard for them”? Or are those all stereotypes that are no longer relevant?God help the person who tries that out on my daughters! 🙂

    1. Dave W Baldwin

      Just speaking real world, girls are equal/better than boys at doing Math/Science related to getting a project done.  What is hard is their being stretched many directions because of all the other projects/events that need completion.Then you have the Boys Club where it is easier for boys/men to sit back and tell each other they’re smarter than women.The hurdle at this point is having women not try to do as women only, for that will extend the time frame reaching an agreed to equality.

      1. ShanaC

        Its not a smarter/not smarter.  Its was people are driven by.I was talking to two comp sci people who happen to be women, there are a ton of choices that they have/are making that makes them in general turn down startups.EG: Friend of mine was considering a startup.  Graduate Carnegie Mellon’s CS program in 3 years, nice girl, very smart, nice family.  The startup would have made her customer support, when she wanted to build things…

        1. Dale Allyn

          Shana, I hope she will explore more deeply if she is interested in “making things”, in engineering, etc. We’d love to talk to “nice girl, very smart, nice family” people who want to do great things. Pigeon-holing stereotypes into traditional roles is weak management and weak team-building. 

        2. Dave W Baldwin

          Very good. Tell them to take advantage of limited brain power of men who are always sidetracked thinking food/procreation… Staying focused will win in the end.

    2. Danielle Weinblatt

      Hi Avi.  It’s a great question and I have a theory on this as a [female] entrepreneur myself.  Most startups, 65% to be exact, are started by people in their 30s.  So what does that mean for women?  At that age, we are programmed to be settling down or at least be thinking about settling down.  This often means preparing for marriage and children rather than starting companies.  Unfortunately, (and I will likely get chastised for saying this), it’s nearly impossible to do both.  In fact, it’s often unfair to one’s partner or children to do both!  I know I have had my share of 100-hour work weeks and traveling around the country.  My personal life is virtually non-existent. 

      1. andyswan

        Right on!  Choices are difficult.  Nuturers tend to err on the side of nurturing.  Hunters and protectors tend to err on the side of hunting and protecting.  And guess what– THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.My wife was on the fast-track to big things in a big company.  But about 6 months after our 1st was born, she knew she wanted to be home…teaching her to walk, talk, smile and live.”We’re going all-in on entrepreneurship AND our family….it’s your show, Andy.”I’ve never heard words more motivating.

        1. fredwilson

          the gotham gal’s opening talk at WE Festival was all about that and the choices she made. it was personal and poignant.http://vimeo.com/35475386

          1. andyswan

            Thanks, “the Sheri Swan” and I will watch together. Looking forward to it.

      2. ShanaC

        Beyond scale issues, I don’t see why someone starting a SMB business can’t have kids, or even can’t have kids while having a business that scales if her husband is willing to take the other shift.I find talking to guys about that to be a treacherous process…

        1. Danielle Weinblatt

          You said one key thing:  “if her husband is willing to take the other shift.”  You need to have a supportive partner.  You need to have a rock.   If you have that Shana, then it’s half the battle.  I’m young, but still looking for someone who can handle these tradeoffs.

          1. ShanaC

            I’m young too, and I have no idea where these guys are.  And problematically, when I do find them on occasion, I find them nebbish.Note to guys out there: You don’t want to have a girl calling you nebbish….

          2. Cynthia Schames

            See my comment about driven women marrying non-nebbishers.  A bit of a catch-22.Oh, and as a general comment: it’s kind of sickening that the topic of women entrepreneurs has devolved into conversation of kids and marriage. That just shows how very little all of us have evolved, men and women alike, (and I’m absolutely pointing at myself here).

          3. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            THAT FUNNY THING ABOUT BIOLOGY.IT MATTER.THAT WHY ME GLAD ME NOT HAVE ANY. ‘<

          4. LE

            If you’re limiting yourself to the NY metro area you will have a problem. You should expand within a 90 mile radius (amtrakable) and you will find plenty of non-nebbishy men that will be willing to drive up and possibly even relocate to the city. You only need to find one person.  This is totally doable.  You have to be aggressive.  Another idea for you (just off the top) is for you to start a side business of finding room sharing for engineers and others who want to move to NYC and need a place to stay short term until they’re  settled.  That way you get first dibs and contact.   They don’t know the neighborhoods and they need someone to hold their hand. I’d put some seed money behind this.   

          5. ShanaC

            @cynthiaschames:disqus  I saw the comment about nebbishers.Very Catch-22.  Although I hope to find someone who wants to kill stuff (not literally, no ax murders) I want someone at the same time introspective enough to be an effective communicator  so that these issues are solvable.Still, I have no idea how to make it work (yet)

          6. LE

            “but still looking for someone who can handle these tradeoffs”Not to scare you further, but keep in mind that what someone appears to be (or agrees to) when you are dating and newly married is not always what they are after you have kids. Despite what popular culture would have you believe divorce is to a large degree about people changing after marriage or kids.  Either one or both parties. 

          7. Danielle Weinblatt

            I agree.  Probably best for me to stay single then.  I appreciate the advice. 🙂

          8. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            FIND NICE BORING, STABLE HUMAN, CLUB OVER HEAD, DRAG TO CAVE.THAT STILL HOW WORK, YES? HUMAN CUSTOMS CHANGE SO FAST, NO CAN KEEP TRACK.

          9. Cynthia Schames

            Grimmy, you forgot best part: in ten years, them so boring you kill and eat them.

          10. LE

            Not that you’re asking but here is one way to vet someone. Do a “conversation stress test”. Don’t ask questions. Tell stories and judge reaction to how someone really feels. Questions are easily gamed. If a man isn’t willing to engage in meaningless conversation, and doesn’t seem to have a clue, or isn’t in tune with what you find important (other then of course the shared business or hobby interests)  that could be a problem for future communication when you have a problem. Which you will have. And if they close up and aren’t willing to discuss things will deteriorate.Here’s an example. You want to find out how a man would deal with having to share the load of parenting. So tell them a story about a friend (not on the first date obviously) who is married and her husband refuses to take care of the children in equal share because “he is the man” and your friend wants your advice. See what he says as far as what your friend should say their “husband”. Is he interested in discussing at all? What does his face look like while he is saying whatever his point of view is?  In real time and without knowing your agenda it would be pretty hard for someone to bullshit someone on this.

          11. ShanaC

            I know – hey @domainregistry:disqus , can you email me  shana dot carp at gmail

          12. leigh

            I left a job 5 months pregnant to start the office of a new company and left that two years later to start my own company.  Is it hard?  Yeah.  Do i sometimes suck as a mother?  Probably.  It’s not a matter in my mind of putting family first or company first.  It’s the ebb and flow and pushing the limits on everything and everyone including myself.   It gets easier and frankly even with all the stress, i couldn’t imagine it any other way.  ps. LE is probably right but that’s what happens when you marry under 30. No one knows who they are under 30 — 🙂

        2. Cynthia Schames

          @ShanaC:disqus  you kind of hit it on the head.  It’s my observation that a lot of entrepreneurial-minded women marry equally driven men, if they decide to marry.  Then the kids come along, and sometimes the woman doesn’t in fact decide to be mommy 24/7.  Then you have two driven parents and no one willing to take “the other shift”.  I’ve seen it tear apart a lot of marriages, and I’ve seen many friendships fall apart that way too because women are one anothers’ harshest critics.  Not an easy issue, because someone often ends up resenting someone.  @andyswan:disqus your story is both inspiring and unusual. I would add that “nurturers” can be of either gender.  The tricky bit I just described is when the woman isn’t a “nurturer” at all, but more on the hunter side of the equation.  Her friends may judge her, potential business partners may doubt her commitment, and her spouse may feel shortchanged because he expected that nurturing side to magically appear once biology took hold.

          1. ShanaC

            Yes, I’m finding I agree with you when it comes to my dating life.I was talking about this with someone recently: The end answer is nannies, but that doesn’t make everyone happy.  Also, expensive.

          2. Cynthia Schames

            @ShanaC:disqus well, au pairs are much less expensive than nannies, and can offer a great cultural exchange and learning experience for your kids.  The one thing I have learned as a parent is that if a parent is unhappy inside, everyone is unhappy.  The kids don’t benefit from spending 24/7 with an unhappy parent who chafes because they want to be somewhere else, doing something else; they need quality time with a parent who’s engaged and happy to spend time with them. If an external childcare provider is the answer, then that’s the best choice. But PS: I don’t envy you in the dating scene. Sometimes I think I got married just so I didn’t have to date anymore 😉 Exhausting!

          3. tedstockwell

            Nannies and daycare and can create some slack in the daily schedule, but parenting takes up a lot of space in your head.  It impairs the obsessiveness that helps some entrepreneurs.  It is hugely important that both parents have signed on to the same vision for juggling it all.Also, life can scramble any well made plan.  It helps to have a partner that you can improvise with.

          4. ShanaC

            meanwhile @cynthiaschames:disqus  I’m just happy I don’t have kids yet.  I want to make sure I am happy, other person is happy, before worrying about kids.I’ll find someone appropriate for me sooner rather than later, that I am sure. 

          5. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            BALANCE IN ALL THINGS.BE PARENTS STUPID IF NEITHER HUMAN WANT TO BE PARENT.

          6. Cynthia Schames

            Out of curiosity, dear Dino, how did you get “not want to be parent” from “not want to ONLY be parent”? 

          7. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            REST OF CONVERSATION ABOUT REQUIREMENT IF 1 HUMAN STARTUP, OTHER ONE BE 100% PARENT.IF 2 HUMANS WANT STARTUP, NEITHER ONE PARENT.THAT MEAN 2 STARTUP HUMANS = NOT PARENTS UNLESS ONE GIVE UP STARTUP.IS FLAW IN MATH? OR MAYBE CAN HAVE EXTRA PARENTS IN EQUATION? ME, GRIMLOCK, NOT UNDERSTAND ALL HUMAN RULES FOR MAKE MORE HUMANS.

      3. Robert Thuston

        Well said.  This is part of the human condition.  We all have to make decisions.  The problem is, too many of us make them based on what we believe the world expects from us rather than our inner-voice.  Everybody in the world wants you to be like them, but nobody shows you how to be yourself.

    3. FAKE GRIMLOCK

      LESS WOMEN STARTUP BECAUSE THEM SMART. NOT INTERESTED IN 90% CHANCE OF WORK SELF TO DEATH, STILL FAIL.WANT CHANGE, MAKE MORE WOMEN STUPID AS MEN, OR MAKE STARTUPS LESS STUPID.

      1. LE

        “LESS WOMEN STARTUP BECAUSE THEM SMART. NOT INTERESTED IN 90% CHANCE OF WORK SELF TO DEATH, STILL FAIL.”Good point. But also they simply aren’t exposed in popular (hacker/business) culture to the few and far between success stories. The 10% reality distortion field.Grimlock obviously your rationality, maturity, common sense and maybe financial obligations are holding you back from taking the 1 in 10 chance of hitting it big.  My father told me the other day about the (I’m assuming) young guy that wheeled him out of the hospital. He was all excited about some idea which sounded like video airbnb to me basically. “He’s says he’s only working at the hospital until this idea takes off”. Most likely he is living at home with his parents and has nothing to loose and everything to gain.  Maybe he will succeed.Hopefully the 90% is made up mainly of people like that.

        1. FAKE GRIMLOCK

          MAIN PURPOSE OF HERO STORIES IS KEEP MEN STUPID, SO THEM NOT NOTICE 1 SUCCEED BIG REQUIRE 100 TOTAL FAIL. WOMEN NOT HAVE SAME STORIES BECAUSE THEM NOT DUMB ENOUGH BELIEVE THEM.

          1. LE

            “MAIN PURPOSE OF HERO STORIES IS KEEP MEN STUPID, SO THEM NOT NOTICE 1 SUCCEED BIG REQUIRE 100 TOTAL FAIL. “So far so good I like that…Reminds me of the Ron Kovic character (played by Tom Cruise) in “Born on the Fourth of July”. Also the overwhelming need of the media to call people who risk their lives for a stranger (and possibly leave their own child parent-less) a “hero”.  (And I do mean risk their lives not “help”).”WOMEN NOT HAVE SAME STORIES BECAUSE THEM NOT DUMB ENOUGH BELIEVE THEM.”If that is the case (re: believing hero stories) then why are woman obsessed with fashion magazines where woman are portrayed as skinny and well dressed? And with following celebrity gossip? And why do so many woman flock to LA and NYC to become stars where the chance of success is equally slim?quod erat demonstrandum

          2. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            WORLD NEED NEW STORIES.STORY OF HELP EVERYONE, NOT JUST SELF. STORY OF WOMAN CAN BE COMPETENT, LEADER, WITHOUT ACT LIKE MAN.STORY OF MAN AND WOMAN BE GOOD PARENTS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MAKE BIG MONEY.STORY OF QUIET PERSONAL SUCCESS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS BIG FAMOUS SUCCESS. THOSE STORIES WORLD FORGET. NEED NOW MORE THAN EVER. 

          3. Cynthia Schames

            @LE ALL women are not obsessed with fashion magazines, celebrity gossip, or stardom. Some of us actually have brains and enjoy using them for stuff. To us, a Kardashian is most certainly *not* the daughter of a dead defense attorney. And it’s misspelled, too.@FAKEGRIMLOCK that was poetry–again. (The comment about the world needing those stories more than ever.)

          4. ShanaC

            so not qed.The main reason we need hero stories is that they define who we are and what makes for ideal humans, and ideal behavior.  This has been and ongoing issue, and this is why the classics remain alive to this day.Go read the Illiad and tell me it doesn’t inform you in what you should be like (or at least what a greek should be like).To quote my favorite professor quoting Socrates:”Who is knowledgeable in such virtue that of Human Being and Citizen?!”

          5. laurie kalmanson

            the hero is testedhttp://www.google.com/url?s…The main character is a hero, who is often possessed of supernatural abilities or qualities.The hero is charged with a quest.The hero is tested, often to prove the worthiness of himself and his quest.The presence of numerous mythical beings, magical and helpful animals, and human helpers and companionsThe hero’s travels take him to a supernatural world, often one that normal human beings are barred from entering.The cycle must reach a low point where the hero nearly gives up his quest or appears defeated.A resurrection.Restitution. Often this takes the form of the hero regaining his rightful place on the throne.

      2. Danielle Weinblatt

        Wow.  I’m not sure I’d want to live my life based on percentages.  I guess we could justify not trying things/not taking risks for the rest of our life based on percentages.  I wouldn’t want to live my life without a dream.

        1. FAKE GRIMLOCK

          STARTUP REQUIRE BE CRAZY ENOUGH NOT CARE ABOUT ODDS. IT GOOD KIND OF CRAZY. ALSO RARE KIND. 

      3. FAKE GRIMLOCK

        ME WANT POINT OUT, IMPORTANT PART OF WHAT SAY ABOVE IS “MAKE STARTUPS LESS STUPID”.THAT MAYBE GET LOST IN POLITICS. 

        1. K_Berger

          I would like to note for the record that FG was on fire throughout the comments today.

  5. Elia Freedman

    I think that the skill of recognizing business opportunities needs to be taught somehow. These women have that ability, clearly, as do many of us who read this blog. But my wife doesn’t and I can’t figure out how to teach it to her. She equates it to devine intervention, a vision that appears before me. I wish I knew where to start so I could show her the endless array of business opportunities in front of her.

    1. Carl J. Mistlebauer

      Elia,I have a sister who has an autistic, non verbal son.  She has always been at the forefront of anything dealing with autism in her area.For years she has thought about what she would do once her son graduated from high school and how she would create a meaningful life for him.  I have always told her that we need to explore an internet based home business that the two of them could establish and operate.  Of course my input was not taken all that seriously.Well, her son graduated in June.Guess who is now SERIOUSLY exploring an internet based business?  I have to admit that my baby sister has really grabbed a hold of this ball and is running with it in a very serious way.Women are motivated by totally different things than men are, but let me add, if your wife is anything like my sister once they do latch onto something learn to jump in the back seat real fast….

      1. Elia Freedman

        Very true! And I think you are right. Once my wife figures out the thing she wants to do she will go after it with gusto. We have a couple more years, though, before we start even discussing it. Our youngest is three and my wife has been wonderful to stay home with both girls. (We are all better off for it and feel fortunate to be able to even make that choice.)

    2. Tom Labus

      My wife’s business grew out of her passion for all things horticultural.  She was an unlikely candidate for running a business but her passion made a reality.That always seems the best route whether tech or any business. 

      1. FinLit

        Tom,     Absolutely correct.  Passion for a business, or any venture, is the ultimate toot to (achieve) success!     What is your wife’s horticultural business?

        1. Tom Labus

          She is a horticultural therapist.  She uses plants as a way to reach and engage various elderly groups at assisted living facilities.  In the last few years, she has done a lot with dementia patients and somehow gets them concentrated for a time. 

      2. Elia Freedman

        Passion has to be there, true. But we all still need to recognize the opportunities regarding that passion.

  6. Avi Deitcher

    That may be part of the media hype over the few hyper-successful (Zuckerman, Page, Brin, etc.), which makes it seem nearly impossible. Just hypothesizing.

  7. Tereza

    Nice! It was a great day and the only thing that bummed me out was that I had to pick between panels. Tough choices. If you didn’t get your full female-fix by watching the Makers panel, then mosey on over to the Community Makers panel which was second best. 😉 Gotham Gal’s keynote rocked. Arianna, Nancy too. Really excellent day and a half. Second year on, it’s my favorite event of the year.

    1. Tereza

      Here’s Community Makers: http://vimeo.com/35765439And the rest of the panels: http://vimeo.com/itpred

      1. William Mougayar

        Thanks Tereza for these additional links.

  8. Avi Deitcher

    @Dave,Don’t know if they are better or not. I also don’t care. I think they can, and should.I also don’t understand what you mean by being stretched. How is a 13-yr-old middle school girl stretched any further than a 13-yr-old middle school boy?Your last point is quite valid, agree wholeheartedly.

  9. William Mougayar

    This is the link to the video that Fred posted for those on mobile, as it doesn’t load straight from an iPhone, but if you click on this link, it works: http://vimeo.com/35912239 

  10. FinLit

    Wow!  I think the answer is right here–just look at the # of people who replied to the original conversation.  I count 8 replies (so far) and 2 were from women, so just 25% of women are in on this conversation, about women 🙁 )Maybe there is still a subtle and yet real sub-text that women should follow, not lead.  I experienced this when I pitched on StartupAmerica webinar.  The pitch coach replied to me initially,  “I’ll try to be polite”… then when he relaxed he went on to say what an engaging pitch it was.  He was uncomfortable with the voice of a woman on the delivery.We Festival!–thx to your wife and others– important for women to have community/confidence to lead, when they can!

    1. Tereza

      it’s Sunday — would love to jump in on this more as it’s one of my fave topics on the planet but (a) my family is prodding me to spend time with them and (b) so is my startup. :-)so i’m with y’all in spirit but alas the day has only 24 hours so i’ve gotta turn my attentions. Sorry! 

      1. fredwilson

        family first

    2. fredwilson

      this community was way more male dominated a few years agoit’s changed a lot in the past couple years

      1. FAKE GRIMLOCK

        ONLY REQUIRE GET ONE OR TWO STRONG FEMALE VOICES, THEN REST FOLLOW.NOW US HAVE WHITE MAN, WHITE WOMAN, METAL DINOSAUR DEMOGRAPHICS COVERED, HOW EXPAND INTO OTHERS?

        1. kidmercury

          dont forget we got mythological conspiracy theorists covered too

          1. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            IT PROBABLY SOME KIND OF PLOT AGAINST YOU.NOT THAT GRIMLOCK IN ILLUMINATI.DEFINITELY NOT. THEM MEETINGS TERRIBLE. ROOM ALL SMOKY, ONLY SERVE TINY HOR D’OEUVRES. BETTER HAVE REAL FOOD NEXT TUESDAY OR THERE BE TROUBLE.

          2. kidmercury

            definitely silicon valley is racist towards conspiracy theorists. not so much the illuminati though. they know we’re wide awake! 

          3. ShanaC

            I would say ask for steak….

        2. LE

          Somehow, it always ends up at “last man over the bridge” in the end.

        3. another cultural landslide

          Try Cats who act as management. They exist. We have the scars to prove that.

        4. ShanaC

          its way more complicated than that in practice.How do you create a voice with opinions without pissing too many people off, would be the question I want to ask

          1. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            HAVE GOOD OPINIONS.

      2. ShanaC

        its part of my strategy to take over new york.  I thought you knew that already :-p

    3. Dale Allyn

      🙂 Holly, my wife would say “I don’t have time to hangout chatting on blogs. I have only so much time and I intend to accomplish A, B, C and D today”. 🙂  There’s a lot of value that comes from reading AVC and similar resources, as well as the power that comes from connecting with others, but there is a consumption of time as well. And not everyone engages in the same way.I expect that demographic studies will be difficult to nail down because correlating the use of “free time” with blog participation and entrepreneurialism has many delicate and broken threads. It’s not always easy to connect the correct dots.

      1. FinLit

        Hi Dale,     Sorry 4 the delayed reply…lost my wifi!     Yes, true hanging out chatting on Blogs can be a poor use of time, but you can also learn from and find people who you wouldn’t otherwise meet…so it’s just a judgement call like everything else!     Have a nice rest of the day and enjoy the Super Bowl game!  Go Giants!!!

        1. Dale Allyn

          No worries, Holly! I lost my wifi briefly yesterday, too. Must be something in the air. ;)I’m just thrilled to see you, @twitter-151201829:disqus , @Tereza:disqus , @ShanaC:disqus , @panterosa:disqus  , @cynthiaschames:disqus  et al participating here. Great input, info and vibe. Some have been conspicuous by their absence and I’m glad this thread has pried Tereza and others away from their duties elsewhere today.

  11. Danielle Weinblatt

    Hey Holly!  I have been in a situation like that too.  I was the only female tech entrepreneur chosen to present at Launch:  Silicon Valley last summer and it was tough.  When we were by our booth (before I presented on stage), the press came over and a few of my [male] team members were trying to jump in front of the camera.  The camera man turns to one of our developers and goes, ” get out of the way, isn’t that what you hired her for?” My CTO then turns to the guy and says, “I’d like to introduce you to the CEO and Founder of Take the Interview.”  That provided enough fire for me to get up on stage and show them how it’s done!

    1. fredwilson

      i hear you are moving your business to NYC Daniellewelcome to the Big Apple!

      1. Danielle Weinblatt

        Thanks Fred.  It’s good to be home.  We took space in Uber and Seat Geek’s old home in Soho, but are likely moving across the street.  GA is using our product right now to screen companies, so I’m trying to barter for space. 😉  We might bump into one another at Zaro’s.  They have awesome falafel.

  12. Avi Deitcher

    @Danielle, good point. I know a number of women in my generation (I am Columbia engineering ’94 FWIW) who were really resentful at their mothers, the lib generation, for implying you could have it all. Men never could have it all, why would women’s lib change it? Everyone who invests their time in business makes these tradeoffs.It is really hard to do both (family and business) for men *and* women, but, yes, perhaps harder for women. I gave up on a number of startup oppos in my 30s because I have a family with responsibilities. 

    1. Tereza

      I find most dads I know struggle also with balancing family and innovation.I believe that to be the “innovation nation” we need to be, to create great jobs at scale, we need alternative models to innovation that span not only gender but the age span (and yes, other characteristics too).But in particular the age part because your instinct and talent to innovate does not stop when the baby comes out.We need to fuse Lean methods with what we know outside of the tech industry around sustainable/flexible work practices — which is a LOT but has not made its way into early-stage tech.And women/moms are part of this but so are dads and really, anyone else who wants to be involved.We are entering a new era where innovation has to be the standard MO, not the exception.

      1. FAKE GRIMLOCK

        IS SIMPLE. REMOVE IDEA THAT STARTUP REQUIRE SCALE BIG FOR SUCCEED. SLOW STARTUP ALSO VIABLE. FIT BETTER IN LIFE OF MANY.

        1. LE

          “REMOVE IDEA THAT STARTUP REQUIRE SCALE BIG FOR SUCCEED”Crowdfunding would help with this. Not that people won’t want to hit it big when they fund but many would be happy making prime + 5 return on their money.

          1. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            MICROLOANS ALSO. REMOVE EXPECTATION OF 100X REWARD, EVERYTHING MAKE MORE SENSE.

          2. Cynthia Schames

            @FAKEGRIMLOCK Thing is, in my experience & observation, the vast majority of women don’t have those 100X expectations. Sure, the small number of women who currently pursue and are accepted into the types of accelerators that we often talk about are an exception. But as a whole, I don’t see evidence that women’s expectations for their own successes are anywhere near that far-reaching. IF they set out on an entrepreneurial venture, it’s because they’re passionate about that exact thing they want to do; it’s not so they can be some SV legend.This is simultaneously interesting, encouraging, and alarming, if you’re a woman.

          3. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            IT BECAUSE HAVE DIFFERENT HERO STORIES.CULTURE IS OS OF HUMANITY. LANGUAGE IS CODE.STORIES ARE PROGRAMS. MOST HUMANS CAN ONLY RUN STORIES THEM ALREADY HAVE.

          4. LE

            “MICROLOANS ALSO”Right. And what if the local pizza joint, shoe store or internet shopping site got it’s capital from microloans instead of credit card financing. Then obviously the microloaner would have a non-coupon incentive to patronize the company they invested in (at regular pricing).  (And by definition micro loans are spread among a large group of people so that could lock in a group of loyal customers).So instead of groupon taking it’s outrageous cut to support it’s money losing operation and stockholders and deliver single time customers, well ……

          5. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            GROUPON – EVIL + KICKSTARTER * COMMUNITY.ME LIKE. WHO WANT TO INVEST?

          6. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            (MAYBE US NEED SET UP Y COMBINATOR FOR AVC INSPIRED STARTUPS)

          7. LE

            Hmm. Could use either dsu.com (dino start up) or ecml.com (ecommerce micro loan) as potential domains. I have access to both.

          8. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            NEED SEXIER NAME. LIKE “VABOOM.IO” OR “BARNRAISE.LY” OR SOMETHING WITH WORD “KICKASS” IN IT.

          9. LE

            Three letter .com better to get purchased by larger company wanted to present stable image when testifying before congress.But if you insist, KICKASSLY.COM is available (and kickass.ly)Under no circumstances should you start a company with a .io or a .ly etc w/o locking up the .com as well. 

          10. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            KICKASSLY JUST ME MAKE JOKE.BUT COOL NAME STILL IMPORTANT. PROBABLY TAKE WHILE FOR THINK OF RIGHT ONE.TOO BAD NO PUBLIC SITE WHERE WORLD CAN SEE SMART PEOPLE BUILD IDEA FOR STARTUP IN FRONT OF THEM. THAT VALUABLE.

          11. Cynthia Schames

            @FAKEGRIMLOCK that general idea is called getprivy.com only in Boston for now, me know certain angel investor about to help bring to NY.

          12. LE

            Nice idea (isn’t there a fair amount of competition with a tool like this already?)Don’t like the name.privy, noun: “A toilet located in a small shed outside a house or other building; outhouse”Just “privy” would be good. Putting “get” in front of it (privy.com is taken) presents a problem. Especially for food establishments.

          13. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            NOT SAME IDEA. IDEA IS KICKSTARTER FOR CROWDFUND STARTUP, BUT HAVE SAME VIRAL POWER AS GROUPON.RE: PRIVY, NAME STARTUP AFTER OLD WORD FOR TOILET KIND OF BAD IDEA.

          14. Cynthia Schames

            I didn’t name Privy 😉 I just like the team.

          15. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            LAWS MAKE GROUP INVEST FOR GET STOCK TRICKY.BUT MAKE GROUP PURCHASE FOR PERMANENT DISCOUNT, FOUNDER CLUB MEMEBERSHIP, ETC. NOT TRICKY.ONLY HAVE TO FIND RIGHT PERMANENT INCENTIVE INSTEAD OF OWNERSHIP.MAYBE VIP MEMBERSHIP GIVE INPUT, EARLY DATA, ACCESS, LIKE BOARD OF DIRECTORS, BUT OVER INTERNET, NOT COME WITH BINDING AUTHORITY?

          16. Modernist

            snailscale.com is availableis that sexy grimlock?

          17. laurie kalmanson

            rocketbuild.com is for salehttp://www.hugedomains.com/…a small piece of ownership for a small investment; dividends = products and earningsmicroloans, microreturnsi would totally love that

          18. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            ROCKETBUILD. LIKE.

          19. laurie kalmanson

            do a kickstarter funder to acquire it …

          20. FAKE GRIMLOCK

            USE KICKSTARTER TO BUILD SITE MORE APPROPRIATE FOR THAT KIND OF THING THAN KICKSTARTER?THAT WIN!

          21. laurie kalmanson

            because, awesome

          22. panterosa,

            Have to reply here to later comment MAYBE VIP MEMBERSHIP GIVE INPUT, EARLY DATA, ACCESS, LIKE BOARD OF DIRECTORS, BUT OVER INTERNET, NOT COME WITH BINDING AUTHORITY?In my case, which may mirror other cases, I would love to have such a group of early investors, in micro loan sense, and have them paid in product (esp at holidays a box full) and 1st prototype testing. A recent thing I made is s big hit – everyone keeps trying to steal, including children. Would be great to have those products and prototypes out with the people who believe in them, being a viral vector.

          23. Donna Brewington White

            The more we can expand the definitions and funding opportunities, the more prevalent entrepreneurship will become. I envision a society of entrepreneurs and structures that support this.  

        2. panterosa,

          Amen

        3. Donna Brewington White

          Just keep those entrepreneurs away from tech blogs. ;)I used to think I was an entrepreneur and that my first recruiting practice was a startup.  (Although all along my goal was to scale.  Having babies and raising them took precedence over scaling so it became a “lifestyle business” — didn’t know the term back then.)

      2. panterosa,

        Where do divorced/single moms fit in this vision?

        1. Tereza

          As the majority, I’d say at the center.As a matter of status, I’d say “Saint”.

          1. Lisa Mogull

            Not sure we all deserve that title.  The divorced/single mom thing is hard but the busier you are the better you need to manage your time.  I find that the start-up/single mom life makes me more effective because wasting time isn’t an option.

          2. Tereza

            Want something done? Give it to a busy woman…..er….person. :-)When someone doesn’t have time to F around it’s amazing how much they can accomplish.

          3. panterosa,

            Yes, the busier, the more in the groove, and the faster it happens. However, the word NO needs to be increased in it’s usage at the point.- posted via Engagio

      3. Donna Brewington White

        “We are entering a new era where innovation has to be the standard MO, not the exception.”True that.Now just how to do that.

  13. Avi Deitcher

    Well, 8 replies is hardly statistically significant, but the overall numbers of the community (Fred?) probably do reflect that. “I’ll try to be polite.” Love it.I grew up professionally in Wall Street IT, pretty rough and tumble, but you told it like it was, and I loved it, even when I was on the receiving end. Until the political correctness and lawsuits came along, and everyone learned the hard way to be extra sensitive about what they said. At the risk of being politically incorrect, how much damage did learning to guard your words do? 

  14. Danielle Weinblatt

    And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!  Life is about tradeoffs and making the choices that are best for you at the time.  I left an MBA program after my first year because I raised capital for my startup.  I made the decision to give this up because I knew I couldn’t do both.  The most important thing is to embrace our decisions.  I don’t look back with regret even when I’m working until 2 am and my peers are traveling around the world and attending cocktail hour in Harvard Square.

  15. FinLit

    Hi Danielle,     Well, there you go %-(…     I think it is so great for women to support on another and this is the other piece that is worrisome.  Women have a tendency to be intimidated by other successful women–just the opposite is necessary…women need to support and encourage other women to change the perception.     Take the Interview seems like a good possible partner with FinLitTV®.  We are focused on20-Somethings.  Let’s chat…[email protected]!

    1. Tereza

      I think there have been great strides in fixing this in the past 2 years, helped by social media. We’re finding each other online, discussing, learning, and working together. There WAS a perception that the pie is a fixed size and one’s win is another’s loss. I truly believe we’re at a juncture where we believe together we’ll grow the pie with each other’s help.

      1. fredwilson

        yes indeed. i feel the sands shifting right under my feet

        1. Dale Allyn

          Having daughters (and brilliant wife) can do that. 😉 No limits!

      2. leigh

        From your lips to Gds ears Tereza ….

  16. jason wright

    The education system is not sexist. The education system is elitist.

  17. Danielle Weinblatt

    Great!  We can take it offline.  I’m a member of Springboard and the women in that program are very supportive and helpful.  I also had the opportunity to have lunch with Tory Burch on Tuesday because she sits on the Board of Startup America and fosters female entrepreneurship with her foundation.  There were 5 other women entrepreneurs (mostly in fashion) at the lunch and I was really taken back by how the more experienced women at the table wanted to help the younger female entrepreneurs.  Within 24 hours, one of the attendees had connected to me on LinkedIn with a major sales lead.  I am not going to write her name here, but she’s super senior at the Daily Grommet, which is an amazing site.

    1. FinLit

      Hadn’t seen your comment until now!Yes, let’s take it offline and yes, Tory Burch is quite impressive!Women who connect other women and men to streamline their (valid) efforts  are awesome!

  18. William Mougayar

    I loved the littleBits video @ayahbdeir:twitter . It’s really fun. Now I understand why Fred was really excited while playing with that kit. Circa 1980 when I did Electrical Engineering at the U. of Washington, there were no women students that I remembered. As a woman-led business, littleBits is a trail-blazer and shatters previous misconceptions about women in technology. 

    1. Tereza

      My daughter loves it and I put her 3rd grade class on Ayah’s guinea pigs list!

      1. fredwilson

        that’s awesome Tereza

      2. William Mougayar

        wow. nice story. – posted via Engagio

  19. FinLit

    Avi,     Yes, “I’ll try to be polite” had all sorts of thoughts.  To your point to “weigh you words” I did think to reply…it’s not necessary to be “polite.” I would have in person but in an “audio” context, I thought better to just let it pass.     I think one can make their thoughts known w/o being “rough and tumble” with words…I think it is better to be straight and direct–not opaque–to cut to the chase.  Noone has time or patience for the subtle and insincere.

  20. Danielle Weinblatt

    The most incredible “product” people can create is a child. My product right now means a lot to me.  I nurture it and I have watched it grow up from infancy (i.e., specifications).  I watched it graduate from alpha to Beta and then to GA.  I get really offended if people compare it to other “children”.  I’m joking a bit here, but in all seriousness, having kids is entrepreneurial in it’s own right.

    1. Robert Thuston

      This comes across with the 5 women presenting as well.  They speak with a sense of comfort and longevity, as though they’ve accepted these ideas as their children to nurture and take care of for years to come.  To entrepreneurs who know the care and sacrifice it takes to raise a good idea, and parents the care and sacrifice to raise a child (both should be proud).

    2. FAKE GRIMLOCK

      BE PARENT MOST IMPORTANT STARTUP OF ALL.

    3. K_Berger

      In our company, a woman was the founder and we have more women than men in senior leadership.  Some of those women also have large families they take care of.Looking at my family as a startup in it’s own right, there is a resource allocation necessary. How are we going to raise all these children properly with two parents?  If both are working jobs with ‘normal’ hours, you can share.  If both are in a startup, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day.So why the mom?  I believe, in most cases, a woman’s brain works differently than a man’s.  Not better or worse, just different.  At the risk of stereotyping, one example is that women can multitask better (when I multitask, it usually means I am not getting anything done equally).  Along those same lines, this makes them better suited for the extremely challenging task of raising a family.  So the woman takes the more important, and less thankful, responsibility of building a family, while the man takes the easy way out and builds a company.

  21. Danielle Weinblatt

    I made a few comments in this video that relates to this discussion if you’re interested in hearing my thoughts.  Please note that I didn’t mean to say it’s easy to start a company.  I meant to say it’s easier than it was in the past for women to start companies (for various reasons including amazing role models many of them in NYC and many of them from my alma mater).  If anyone has any interest, my interview is here:  http://www.youtube.com/watc…

    1. fredwilson

      just added to boxee for our weekend boxee video viewing

    2. Robert Thuston

      Thanks for sharing.

  22. andyswan

    I love this.  Surfacing more examples of more entrepreneurs is good for everyone.My daughter (6) and I have started 3 “businesses” in the last year.  I love that she understands  that she doesn’t need ANYONE to create and get what she wants.Self-reliance is a virtue that seems to have been lost on many in this “sacrifice and depend” society.  Thankfully, we can each “opt out” in our own way.

    1. fredwilson

      fathers can help change this situation

      1. laurie kalmanson

        i often wonder how fathers can allow it to continue

        1. ShanaC

          because being gender normative makes parents proud.Really.  Its hard to be proud of people when they break all the rules, especially when they fail.

          1. laurie kalmanson

            sadness, as the mom of a girl

      2. Sharon

        yes they do, and can. And, the research also shows that working mom’s who “have a life”– set the stage for their daughters to become unstoppable when they enter the working world.  

    2. Danielle Weinblatt

      Andy:Below are some good examples of successful female entrepreneurs and in full disclosure, many of them I know.  In no particular order, tell your daughter about these women:Sheryl Sandberg, Vivian Weng, Alexandra Wilkis Wilson, Alexis Maybank, Alexa Von Tobel, Jenny Hyman, Jenny Fleiss, Katia Beauchamp and Haley Barna.  They have paved the way for female entrepreneurs (and we all went to the same grad school). 

      1. awaldstein

        Hi DanielleI like to add my friend Heidi Roizen to this list as doesn’t get enough credit.One of the earliest and most successful women entrepreneurs in the valley. Founder TMaker, head of WW Dev Rel for Jobs at Apple, early senior partner at Mobius and now at DFJ.Really an inspiring and accomplished individual and one of the few women at that level in the 80s and 90s in the Bay area.

        1. Danielle Weinblatt

          Thanks for adding Heidi.  I completely agree and shouldn’t have left her off the list because she is absolutely a role model!  In fact, I read her case study when I was still in my MBA program and I remember the stats when you changed Heidi’s name to “Howard”.  Can you believe that if you make one change and leave the rest of the case study the same, Howard becomes more “likable” as a successful networker/businessman than Heidi?  Both men and women are apparently programmed to distrust the intentions of successful and powerful women, but at the same time, praise a man who has accomplished the same things.

          1. awaldstein

            Too wacky and too wrong for certain.I was lucky to become friends with a group of really inspiring women at the beginning of my career. Heidi was one. Ann Winblad another.And coming from the computer gaming world, the really powerful marketing and sales execs who built the iconic power brands like Maxis, Broderbund, Interplay, Lucas and even EA were mostly women. I consider myself lucky.

  23. FinLit

    @twitter-151201829:disqusI agree–the opportunity exists but I still notice women who begrudge other women success–like your success is my challenge–rather than to think, your success is going to enhance (the possibility) of my success. We’ve got to support and encourage one another–the WE Festival! is intended to do just that. Read this comment from a camera man at the event.  You will get it.  Check out–http://www.gothamgal.c…

    1. Danielle Weinblatt

      Hey Holly- can you redo the link?  I want to make sure I see the comment you mentioned.

  24. ShanaC

    We just need to get rid of banker weight (too many people at banks) and do more training of good bankers.

  25. invisible man

    Guy Kawasaki offers this bit of advice to those looking to start a new business:1. Calculate your monthly costs to operate your organization.2. Calculate the gross profit of each unit by your profit.3. Divide the results of step 1 by the results of step 2.4. Ask a few women if they think you have a chance of selling that many units. If they don’t you don’t have a business model.

  26. Tereza

    I had a mom/daughter breakfast yesterday w a friend who is a national leader in women in leadership. She is an organizational psychologist — Sharon Horowitz.She interviewed ~50 women at the very top levels of corp America to find commonalities. CEOs and other top C-leve. F500, top banks, etc.The consistent thread was this: they all had very, very supportive dads. In fact, it was more specific. Their dads taught, encouraged and rewarded them to be *mavericks*.This is counter-cultural. The majority of women are not socialized to be mavericks, but to follow the rules.This is a really important message. Women are not in this alone or doing this in spite of men. We are part of the system together, we need each other. And I for one and thankful for the male mentors who have helped me along the way, along with my female ones. And thankful to have a husband who’s a super-supportive dad to my two daughters.Signing off to spend time with the fam. Ciao!

    1. fredwilson

      sharon wouldn’t tell you this because she is a consumate professioanl but i worked with her for a few years after Flatiron blew upshe helped me a lot

      1. Tereza

        Amazing. 2-hour breakfast. Zero mention.Our daughters are exactly the same age and they just had a day-long playdate. I look forward to a lot more playdates between me and Sharon, too.

        1. fredwilson

          you have my permission to bring it up with sharon if you want

          1. Tereza

            You should have her do a guest blog on partnerships or another topic. She has such great insight. The exposure would prob be beneficial to her, too.

          2. Sharon

            Thank you for the kind words, Fred.  I enjoy reading your blog. Sharon 

          3. fredwilson

            if you have thoughts worth sharing, please do that. i really encourage everyone who reads AVC to join the conversation

    2. LE

      “they all had very, very supportive dads. “”And thankful to have a husband who’s a super-supportive dad to my two daughters.”I’m wondering of the dads that were supportive if they had sons as well or only daughters? (I’m assuming by your statement about your husband that you don’t have any sons?)The anecdotal references that I can pull up seem to support the fact that this is more prevalent in families with no sons at all or  daughters that are first born or much older than their brothers.”The majority of women are not socialized to be mavericks, but to follow the rules.”If we assume that in a traditional family the father tends to the boys and the mother tends to the girls and further that the mother is “traditional” what you are saying would make sense.

      1. Tereza

        I have only girls, no boys.And my husband was a latchkey kid and his mom was a nurse who worked night shifts and always earned more than his dad.So he grew up with tag-teaming.

    3. PhilipSugar

      Good to see you again.Anecdotally, I think you are right on.  I think it might stem from the fact that men still are the majority when it comes to entrepreneurs.  In your case it probably was your Mom but that was the exception.So my one point which certainly doesn’t draw a line is my daughter.  She looks up and adores her Mom (everyone tells me that going to end for a while soon).  My wife who is just as responsible for my success as me works in a Doctors office as an NP 50% of the time which is a great complement to my crazy schedule.My daughter said she wanted to become a vet and go work in our vets office.  I told her I wanted to her to become a vet and own the office.  She looked at me, the wheels spun for a while and I said “why not?”.  She said she had always thought she would just work in an office like Mom.  We had a long talk about life, family, and sacrifices.  I think its a role model thing.

      1. Tereza

        Hiya Phil!So — indeed, my mom was definitely my role model. But her dad seriously encouraged her maverick-ness. And guess what? He was an entrepreneur — bootstrapped a major produce wholesaling business across Czechoslovakia before the war. Incidentally, was youngest of six on a farm run by his mom bc his dad died. Very comfortable w strong women. So the cycle repeats.Veterinarians — a friend of mine runs a startup that is aggregating veterinary back-offices. Really interesting stuff happening in that industry. It is female-dominated and this means big shift to women who want flex-time schedules, working 2/3-time rather than FT and running them in a co-op kind of way. So he his riding this trend — buying into vet practices, taking over back office, driving savings, amping up intelligent, modern marketing best practices. Naturally the payment cycle (credit card!) is way more attractive than the “human health” industry, which we civilians call “health care”. I’d put my rogue investment dollar on pets any day.Come to think of it, he may have gone to Penn in your vintage. Rich Lester?

        1. PhilipSugar

          Name sounds familiar but not close.I think Charlie its right its not just a woman thing, however if I was going to generalize and stereotype I’d say men get more of a “break” especially when they’re young.It must be something Environmental as my Penn Fraternity Cohort has about 20 CEO entrepreneurs.

          1. Tereza

            He was a ZBT class of ’88. I think Mark Pincus was in that frat class too? Not remembering which frat you were in?

          2. PhilipSugar

            PhiDeltaTheta.  That thought made me put together a list:LinkedIn, Zino Platinum, , Smart Button, Mobiquity, Datran Media, SpringActive, Perky Jerky, Zoom Info, EnviroMetrics, Precision Corporation, Reality Technologies, Traffic.com, ASI, Primordial , Games, Krytar, Elements Cuisine, Pragmotos Consulting, Interlaken Capital, Diagnostics Intelligence Group, Quench, Oxeon , Useful Networks, Mobliss, Wandering Eye Pictures, Tribe, Coremetrics, Concept Worldwide, Live Intent

          3. Tereza

            These are all Phi Delts from Penn? Jiminy Crickets.

        2. LE

          http://www.vetpartners.com/…That’s a great business. Physicians (and so I would imagine vets) totally are spooked by really simple business things.  I’ve run into this frequently.  Many don’t even want to own their office real estate they are willing to pay a premium to have someone that will change a light bulb for them.  I know of a practice manager that even took care of buying cars for the medical practices they worked with. What’s great about this is it’s like a residual business. The effort is concentrated on getting the account and then keeping them happy which results in a significant barrier (especially if you maintain a personal relationship) to them changing the arrangement.

          1. Tereza

            That’s my guy! He’s freaking brilliant. And a wonderful friend, too.

        3. mbob

          Anecdotal factoid: our nearest large animal surgery hosts exchange vet students from Europe. In Denmark and Germany at least, the majority of large animal vets are women. 

      2. Donna Brewington White

        That is inspiring, Phil.  What you did with your daughter is exactly what we need to do with our sons and daughters, but especially our daughters because society will not as readily encourage them in that direction.I am trying to do the same thing in challenging my kids’ thinking.  If they grow up to have “jobs” so be it, but it will not be because it was the only thing they could imagine. I have three boys and a girl but the girl is the more driven, determined one.  Until now, it never occurred to me that this is gender identification with her mom.  And now that I am realizing this, it makes me want to try to help her avoid some of the traps I’ve fallen into.  Although, having an artistically oriented dad might balance this out.  It will be interesting to see how my boys turn out. 

    4. karen_e

      Tina Fey says the same thing re: her Dad in her recent book. He was her champion, 110%.

    5. Jennifer McFadden

      Interesting to hear–and, certainly true in my case. My dad started and ran his own company (post-IBM sales in the 70s and 6 years of co-oping at NASA) for 30+ years. I was the third of three girls–and, his last hope for a boy, I suppose. Thus, I think I was the designated tomboy–and his office and basketball buddy. This has undoubtedly shaped my views around what I can do relative to “the guys” and how I see technology (he had massive mainframes in his office and I spent my weekends “playing” with the computers in his office). We have two girls and my hubby is also a super-supportive, “you can do anything” kind of dad. We are raising our two girls to understand that both parents can pursue careers–while being good parents at the same time. We are also both adamant about the girls continuing to focus on math/science. Grace, the older, is in 5th grade and that is when the pressure to think “math is not cool for girls” begins. We counter this by pointing out, at every opportunity, all of the cool things that you can do which require math (like, “that iTouch you want, you could build something like that someday–if you stick with math” or “hey, you like that video game, guess what?? You can do that if you focus on math”). It’s become a bit of a running joke in our family. And, happily, it’s starting to sink in. Grace is taking programming after school in the Spring quarter 🙂

    6. Barbara Pantuso

      I agree, Tereza. At the WE Festival, on almost every panel, a question was raised about husbands and family – how women juggle it, what their husbands do, how they deal with living with an entrepreneur, etc. I think these questions were really getting at this: “How are you able to be a maverick? To go against these cultural norms?” I would have liked to hear more about this question “What did your parents teach you that led you to make the career choice of becoming an entrepreneur?”In my case, my dad taught me how to fish. Literally and figuratively. He had 3 daughters and no sons. So he treated us like he would sons. We went fishing and had to bait our own hooks. But he also treated us like daughters. I grew up thinking there really wasn’t a difference. And THAT has made all the difference, to quote Robert Frost.

    7. pixiedust8

      Is your friend going to publish something? I would be very interested in reading this, and also in what the definition of a maverick really is. To me that could be someone wanting to be an artist instead of the family pushing them to be an accountant, but in this case, that definition doesn’t fit. Is it someone encouraged to be different and not necessarily focused on “typical” things like popularity? I’m just not sure how “maverick” is defined and it seems as though a lot of people in this thread have made assumptions, and I’m not sure if they are correct.

      1. Tereza

        In her definition it was someone who is willing to break the rules to achieve an objective.

        1. pixiedust8

          Thanks. That is interesting. I would love to see specific examples of what that means, since obviously there are different degrees (and the some of the shady mortgage lending fits that definition, but is obviously not the kind of thing she’s talking about). Hope she writes something up!

          1. Sharon

            You make me laugh.  I have great stories to share– that provide clear examples of what I mean by maverick. I would add it doesn’t necessarily mean “break a rule” in the conventional sense, but rather be creative in achieving a desired objective, and not being a “good girl” or following the “safe” path to achieved the desired outcome.  Its someone with flair, imagination, problem solving in different ways–which young girls do, if supported.  

          2. pixiedust8

            Thanks! That’s kind of what I figured, but it wasn’t clear (to me) from the original definition. It also seemed like a “rule breaker” would still follow most rules, but would make exceptions for the ones that didn’t make sense to them. I hope you do write something up, because it sounds fascinating.

        2. Sharon

          Hi– this is Tereza’s friend,Sharon. You ask great questions.  Yes, my research will be written up shortly. Happy to forward on to you when complete.  I think one of the main points of the “maverick” is how the parents responded to “maverick” like behavior in their children.  In this case, the father to a daughter–which is key to how the daughter evolves as a professional woman, and takes risks in the workplace. My research focused on the “outliers” -those women who made it through the glass ceiling– and looked at the factors for their success. One clear factor was their relationship with their father.  

  27. FinLit

    @twitter-151201829:disqus      Thx–watched your video–it’s great and you present your opportunity–“easy business to explain with a real market.”Well done and inspirational!

    1. Danielle Weinblatt

      Thank you Holly.  Looking forward to connecting and thank you for sharing your story.  Getting out there and pitching is hard enough.  When you’re faced with even greater obstacles, it makes sense why more women don’t get out there and pitch at large scale events like the one you attended.

      1. FinLit

        Hey Danielle,     I’m following you on Twitter!  Looking forward!

  28. ShanaC

    I wish we would split the idea of making something from business building.  Not everything I or my friends make is about business.  Yes, growing a business is about growing stuff.So is just building something with your friends.

    1. fredwilson

      business building starts with makingbut not all making efforts lead to business building

  29. FinLit

    Thanks Fred,My Co-founders are a guy and a woman.  He happens to be the CTO–coding for him is a snap–trained in India–we rely on him for the tech decisions; however, creative and vision are not his strength. We all have a role to contribute.  The only criteria should be who offers the best skill-set to get there.Thanks to WE and other events that give women inspiration, women can use their skills to create…like men (-:

  30. FinLit

    @twitter-151201829:disqusHere is the link again,http://www.gothamgal.com/go…If you can’t get it, I can email you.holly@FinLitTV:disqus .com

    1. Danielle Weinblatt

      I read it.  Thank you for sharing!  Also watching the kickoff video from the WE Festival now.  This is such an important topic.  We need to keep the discussion going.  Women-owned companies still represent such a small percentage of VC-backed startups.  It’s sad.  I hope one day that I can be known as an entrepreneur, not a [woman] entrepreneur and there will be no need for this qualification.

  31. FinLit

    Tereza,     I agree with you and your children are always the most important–I have 3 and they rule–as they are all in their 20’s time is not an issue for me.     Your first obligation and priority is your children!     Enjoy you time with them–it flies by!

    1. John Revay

      As my dentist tells me….they ( your children) are just on loan.  Enjoy them while you have them.

  32. FinLit

    Women like you and others will make this a reality!  The post really says so much…and from the eyes of a man!I am in NYC–let’s have quick lunch…would like to learn more about Take The Interview–great name!Wishing you well!

  33. pointsnfigures

    My daughter is also a junior in college.  Just started a company, campussherpas.com.  Love that she is doing that. The angel group I co-founded in Chicago, Hyde Park Angels, is 20% women, has a woman Managing Director and women on the board.  I actually never thought of gender when I was setting it up.  Didn’t care.  Just got the best quality people that we could.  Since my entire family is women, and my extended family is basically all women, I am used to it.  But I learned last year that the VC industry is virtually all male.  3% women.  So my angel organization is very unique.I am in the process of re-imagining how to create an efficient entrepreneurial ecosystem.  I haven’t given thought to gender at all-but I know I want to make it inclusive to women, all races, opinions, experiences etc.  I gather inner strength myself from diversity of thought.  Although I don’t buy into the diversity for diversity sake opinions that a lot of people harbor. 

    1. FAKE GRIMLOCK

      THEM JUST SEND MESSAGE TO GRIMLOCK OTHER DAY.TELL THEM TRY AGAIN, NEED MORE THAN JUST “HI, THIS OUR LINK”.BETTER STARTUP ECOSYSTEM IMPORTANT. CURRENT MODEL NOT BEST. JUST EASIEST.

    2. ShanaC

      HPA are lovely people.  Really Lovely people.  And god do I miss hyde park. (but I get to go visit soon 🙂 )

    3. laurie kalmanson

      diversity for the sake of half the planet is female, and it would be a shame to exclude half the people; similarly for all under-represented flavors

    4. fredwilson

      you should meet the gotham galand kudos to your daughter

    5. Jennifer McFadden

      Love this post. And, the fact that your daughter is following in your shoes.

  34. Matt Straz

    Great program.How can we also get more senior level women at VC firms? A more diverse team of partners should be an imperative.Whereas other related industries have gotten more diverse, most VC firms still look like an aging, all male rock band. You know the web site photo I’m talking about.

    1. fredwilson

      it starts by getting more women entrepreneurs. most VCs these days are former entrepreneurs. it also helps to hire young women into entry level VC positions

  35. Wells Baum

    Girls, we run this motha (yeah!) x4GIRLS!Who run the world? Girls! x4Who run this motha? Girls! x4Who run the world? Girls! x4http://wellsbaum.me/post/17…

  36. Dale Allyn

    Great event. I’d love to attend in the future. I really love Joanne’s and the others’ passion and commitment to equalizing the environment. I’m glad you make this type of post, Fred.

  37. Umair Hoodbhoy

    This Saturday, the Silicon Valley chapter of the Organization of Pakistani Entrepreneurs is holding its fourth annual Women Leadership Forum. For more details on this event ,visit http://www.opensiliconvalle…

  38. Cynthia Schames

    My very first response to this discussion was going to simply contain this link: http://thenextweb.tumblr.co…But as I contemplate the topic of women entrepreneurs more and more, some other thoughts have surfaced.   In my case, I had a father who led by example, leaving behind a career at Jet Propulsion Labs (better known as the guys who helped NASA put a man on the moon) to pursue his true passion for jazz.  Now, as a daughter who depended on him to put food on the table, I wasn’t exactly always supportive of his choice, but his commitment and passion to his doing what he loved has never wavered, and in fact at age 75 he still plays for a living every night.  So, for that I applaud him.  My Mom, on the other hand, was not as well-educated, but she was a straight up hustler. If she wanted something, or wanted you to do something, she. would. win.  No matter what.  I’m fiercely proud of her and wish she were still here to see the business I was able to build–and the fact that I bootstrapped it into profitability and well beyond.  I’m a female entrepreneur.  Though I’m not running a company today, at heart that is what I am.   Yes, I owe part of that to my parents, but most of it I owe to the fact that I simply don’t intend to wait for anyone else to hand me what I know I can go and do and take on my own.  That’s not related to gender, in my mind.  It’s related to personality and character.  And you’d better believe I’m raising both my daughter and my son to have that fire within. The other train of thought I have on this subject is the whole Etsy/Artfire/eBay phenomenon.  Statistics say that something like 30% of all businesses in the US are women-owned, but I would venture a guess that the true number is much higher if we count all the artisans, resellers, crafters, etc. selling their wares on venues like those.  They’re entrepreneurs just as much as the founders of the next hot internet tech; they’re just growing their businesses steadily, slowly, and as they can manage them.  You’ll probably never hear of them, but I personally know dozens of women whose full time jobs are Etsy/Artfire/eBay.  These women are feeding their families, paying their bills, fulfilling their own dreams on whatever scale they choose, on their own terms.   They’re heroes to me.  They’re not playing the VC game, they’re not working the system.  They’re just doing something they love to do, with or without the involvement of a man, and they’re kicking ass.  Go look on Etsy and see what I mean.  

    1. LE

      Someone I know, made an amazing living out of a basement office with three young children:http://www.citikitty.comShe was on ABC’s shark tank. (Made the mistake of not choosing Barbra Corcoran as her investor.)She is now in warehouse space..Very aggressive and great at taking advice – we used to meet for coffee at Starbucks. 

      1. Cynthia Schames

        Anyone who can makes a thing that makes cats stink less is aces to me.

    2. panterosa,

      My friend started a women’s site which heavily promotes women making the transition to the Etsy full time support yourself lifestyle. It’s in Europe, and a lot of women there are looking to the US to see how women are crafting/selling etc from home. Especially important in this crappy economy and especially for new mother half bored to death at home.

      1. Cynthia Schames

        I love that, @panterosa:disqus ! I’ve bought several small art pieces from European sellers and have gotten to know two of them fairly well in the process (another of my favorite things about Etsy–the consultative aspect of almost every purchase).  They have both been able to greatly increase their income and standard of living by building a business on Etsy.  It’s amazing. The phenomenon seems to be even stronger in South American countries, where the average living wage is so much lower. 

    3. fredwilson

      as a seed investor in Etsy and a longtime board member, i can tell you that you are right. sellers on Etsy are overwhelmingly female. just like i’d like to see more women tech entrepreneurs, i’d like to see more men selling on Etsy

      1. Cynthia Schames

        @fredwilson:disqus I would like to see that too, if only because there are only so many felted tea cozies I can look at in my lifetime. Need diversity!  One of my favorite male sellers on Etsy is dankartistry, a guy named Dan in Iowa who makes rings out of silver spoons; in addition to having a cool product, he offers amazing customer service.  I think one of the things that Etsy and other “P2P” buyers have come to expect is a “special” experience–and I personally associate that more with female sellers. For instance, packaging is actually really important to Etsy buyers (and certain categories on eBay as well).  Wrapping something in a penny’s worth of pretty tissue paper can make the difference between a positive and negative experience for the buyer.  Weird, but true, and not the sort of thing most guys would think of, or bother with.  As a sweeping generalization, women seem to have a better grasp of presentation.Speaking of eBay though, here’s an odd fact.  I once built a sizable business in luxury goods resale, and I used eBay as a loss-leader and lead generation mechanism by participating heavily in their forums for the clothing, shoe & accessory categories.  Male sellers in those categories were regarded with more than a healthy degree of skepticism by buyers and other (female) sellers.  This struck me as kinda sexist, so I dug into the issue.  After talking to and observing a few hundred eBayers, it became clear that the majority of the suspicion revolved around counterfeiting–which is definitely legitimate.   But the part that surprised me was that the buyers also felt that men who were in fact selling authentic goods did not “care” about the buyer in the same way.  Packaging was mentioned often, and some women would get really mad if a male seller just “threw” their purchase into a secure & waterproof but ugly mailing envelope.  Just some food for thought. 

    4. Donna Brewington White

      Great, great comment Cynthia.  So many really good insights and points.BTW, our moms seem very similar.   

      1. Cynthia Schames

        Thanks so much, @donnawhite:disqus .  Sounds like we both had some amazing role models.  🙂

    1. John Revay

      Very funny – 

  39. Jeremy Robinson

    Good discussions here! I like the points about involvement of Dads with daughters and teaching girls to think as mavericks. I don’t think it’s gender-specific, however. The point is not only that the world needs more women leaders and leaders of Color but the world needs women who think and feel like women, not female men.  What got us here is not what we need to stay here; we need to visualize new ways of interacting with each other, and grow much greater tolerances for diversity and complexity if we are to move forward.   For myself, to alter the old joke from the similar book title, I’m coaching as fast as I can! 

    1. John Revay

      Hi Jeremy,  I have two daughters 10th and 8th grades,  I very much want to encourage them to not be afraid of being aggressive in this area.  Thanks for sharing

    2. fredwilson

      the gotham gal’s opening talk at the WE Festival touched on that. she said that women need to be women and they can win being women. the whole talk is herehttp://vimeo.com/35475386

    3. Donna Brewington White

      Exactly, Jeremy.  Thanks for this comment.

    4. Andrew Hoydich

      Sweet comment! Now more than ever there is power in conversation and collaboration instead of bloody competition. Brute force is becoming an outdated tool, the era of understanding is right around the corner…and who does that better than women?

  40. Bhanu

    Women have always been makers. What we’ve lacked as a society, are platforms that reduce the friction that allow them to make more.Design with empathy, something modern design schools teach today, comes naturally to a lot of women. Living in silicon valley, and having been a maker here for over a decade, I believe despite all the funding available, we’re in an innovation drought.Voice to the voiceless, power to powerless- that’s not just a mantra. In dark economic times, that’s what we need to focus a lot on. Thanks to the transformative connectivity we live with today, those efforts can have unforeseen multiplier effects, and truly change makers to consider their passions as prime career options.

  41. Umair Hoodbhoy

    For those of you in the SF Bay Area, check out Women Leadership Forum 2012 at the Computer History Museum this Saturday Feb 11.

  42. panterosa,

    As as maker, and a woman entrepreneur, and a divorced mother (with no alimony) I will tell you what I need is A WIFE!! And I imagine that’s why so many men are so successful as compared to women. Even if I were married, I would get a wife, and if I were a husband trying to help my wife launch a business I’d get her a wife.I had a supportive dad as Tereza points out. I have been a disruptor and risk taker from a very early age. The support I need is people who see the big picture of how I think and where I should go next in terms of meeting people and doing things. Doesn’t matter if male or female.My collaborators are primarily women. I enjoy that fact in the newly popular female entrepreneurship glow.But, I’m secretly hoping my next collaborator is my new wife. I decided it’s almost more important than office manager.

    1. leigh

      lol i always say “everyone needs a wife” 

      1. panterosa,

        Leigh, where do we get wives??? Please advise. My mother called it’s professional version a Female Butler. 

        1. Cynthia Schames

          @panterosa:disqus I believe they call them Personal Assistants.  I highly recommend them.  Ironically, I had one before I was married with kids.  Totally didn’t need one then; need at least three now. 

          1. panterosa,

            Cynthia, yes PA’s. Have a great one whose visa runs out soon. Interviewing for another. The question for me, and I think many women, is whether you need someone to run your life or your office, or both. Since anyone can order groceries and the other mundane things, and only I can do my work I tend now towards the wife/PA model. Would be grand to have one of each!!The blessing of being divorced is not having to cope with running the husband’s life. Now he’s a wasband he can sort himself out. Were I married I’d need three too!!

          2. Cynthia Schames

            @panterosa, wasband? That’s hilarious. Seriously, I’ve had a PA to do the mundane personal stuff (dry cleaning, groceries, maintenance stuff) & a business assistant for mundane work stuff (flights, gifts, mail). I was basically Don Draper. It worked out great, though it was pricy.

          3. panterosa,

            Disclaimer – I didn’t coin wasband, I heard it 25 years ago and it stuck in my brain. I see the original wasband once a year in the market in the summertime getting beer to smoke his weed with, it’s like a touchstone for me to see him. Everybody loves the phrase, even my wasband gets a rise out of it (since he much prefers bachelorhood), but wishes he had a catchy moniker for me. Alas, no.Re “pricy”, affording the necessary services to achieve lift off in startup is the major rub. Having quit the job I hated, but was good at, to do the ‘make awesome’ work I love, the lean bootstrap thing is quite hard as a single mom with no paycheck yet. My kid totally gets it though, and reads AVC and Grimlock where appropriate, and understands what makes me different than many of the other moms for the passion and hutzpah. She helps out where she can, she’s 10.I don’t watch TV so I’ll have someone fill me in on Draper to get the full extent of your joke. It seems to me that actually a lot of young women should actually spend a year being a PA just to see how complicated life can get as a women/mother/wife. It’s like “life” birth control for young women. I wish someone would start a service to provide these women. Would be amazing. – posted via Engagio

  43. kidmercury

    feds still seizing domains ahead of super bowl saturday. not much coverage of this in the big tech blogs. http://www.wired.com/threat… sopa battle is far from over, hasn’t even started. the feds have upped the stakes and are coming back strong. will we come back even stronger, as honorable and sexy people do? or will we take the scaredy cat route and sacrifice the future instead?anyway, the next step is for us to get organized. i posit that this is most easily and effectively done by focusing on creating an alternate DNS system so that domain seizures are easily circumvented as the first step.   

    1. fredwilson

      did you see where tom brady said he watched last year’s super bowl on a pirate site?if the game was available legally everywhere, then these sites would not exist

      1. kidmercury

        i think they may still exist, for reasons of remixing. in terms of business model innovation, i think profit center relies on remixing and open APIs — i belive what you’ve referred to as API jujitsu. but i think if NBC or whoever owns superbowl broadcast rights setup the API, they could put ads through it on the terms they like and if it was reasonably sane it would be a huge money maker for them and a big delight to customers.ultimately though i don’t think incumbents think that way, or can even act that way even if they do — textbook innovator’s dilemma. they are only going to increase the use of government force, as they did when megaupload sued universal.

  44. Trish Fontanilla

    Would you say this is high school age friendly? Just became a mentor for the Technovation Challenge ( http://iridescentlearning.o… – I’m sure you know about this… but with TC, women in tech are paired with HS girls to plan so concept/market/business plan + mock an app with Google’s App Inventor) and it’d be cool to keep on the radar for next year. 

    1. fredwilson

      probably not but we are bringing entrepreneurs into our kids’ high school and they have been extremely well received. the kids are into it

  45. Peter Mullen

    Nice post Fred.  Always good to see women entrepreneurs highlighted.  How about checking out the upcoming Women 2.0 PITCH Conference in San Francisco Feb 14th?   http://www.women2.org/categ…  Hope you can make it!

  46. Finallyfast.com

    Thankfully our society allows women to be as successful asmen (or equally the other way around) in what they are doing. I also think that the partners or spouses who cover theirback have an important role in the success and deserve their respect.~Anja~

  47. Joanne

    What about female investors? Often I am the one of few females in the angel groups. I have precious few role models or mentors there. I suspect that increasing the number of female investors (both institutional and angel) would create positive first order effects for female entrepreneurs. Or at least we bring a different perspective. I would LOVE to get to know more females who like to invest in startups.p.s. I hear a lot about the dearth of female entrepreneurs, and know firsthand of female founders who have gotten completely inappropriate questions from institutional investors about their marital status, have tried to pick up on them, etc. And this was at MIT! (Where I went to jnundergrad and grad school)

  48. Tereza

    Really interesting.So — this is a cross-gender imperative. I like that.

  49. LE

    I started to watch the CNBC piece the other day on Mark Zuckerberg. I got up to the point where one person claimed that Mark wanted him to be a co-founder. He talked to his dad about it (who was a professor somewhere) and the dad told him not to. He didn’t like the fact that either Mark or his son had gotten into trouble for doing facemash. The father was apparently a straight shooter (I’m guessing) who didn’t like to bend or brake the rules.The father of course had no clue seat of the pants feel as to the nuance of situations – when you can push limits and when you can’t. Although everyone has lines they will or won’t cross some people are more intuitive about what is ok to do and what is not. It really comes from an understanding (as with other things) of what you have to loose vs. what you have to gain when you take any chance. In my family my mother is the rule follower and my father is not. One of my sisters is more like my dad and one is more like my mom.

  50. LE

    I’m guessing you would see big differences with certain immigrant groups as far as how both men and women are socialized to be mavericks.   From my experience people from (at least) eastern european immigrant groups are definitely socialized to be mavericks because they were not easily accepted into wasp society. 

  51. leigh

    I think it’s important to have strong mentors and people who can give one the confidence to take risks and gives one the strength to deal with failure and then move on.  It doesn’t have to be a parent (although wouldn’t it be a brilliant world if it was???)

  52. Tereza

    You talkin’ to me?;-)

  53. Carl J. Mistlebauer

    LE,My wife is Chinese who fled Laos in the late 1970’s. As we do not have any children and as the only “wasp” in the family I got dragged into all sorts of situations involving my nieces and nephews, and I have to admit that the cultural influence of “Confucianism” has been been a real brick wall which everyone of my nieces and nephews has run into as they assimilate and so far only 2 of them have successfully adapted to that balancing act.I have a nephew who is majoring in Entrepreneurship and I KNOW that once he graduates he is going to be the accountant for the family business (apartment rentals and laundry mats) and no matter how much he dreams about breaking out on his own and doing his own thing he is going to hit the brick wall of reality and parental guilt real quick.

  54. JamesHRH

    My son has this nuance – its innate. I don’t have it – I make my own calls on whether a rule is right. If it think it is wrong, that does not mean I break it, mind you.It turns out that it is not just startups where nuanced rule breaking can be applied – most large organizations are lead by these type of people.

  55. LE

    “nuanced rule breaking” = cost of doing business

  56. Andrew Hoydich

    A lot of things are innate. A child’s keen ability to adopt and acquire social behavior is one of them. However, how someone deals with rules is absolutely not innate. That is learned and developed like every other social behavior. And who do children learn from? Their parents. 

  57. LE

    “for the family business”As someone who was able to dodge that bullet I can’t stress enough how you should try and stop that from happening Carl.Little “inside small business” joke here but isn’t “accountant” for a laundramat an oxymoron? 

  58. leigh

    Interesting.  I just came back from Laos – my brother’s wife is Kamer and they are currently living in Vientiane.  I thought Luang Prabang was one of the most beautiful places i have ever been.    

  59. Andrew Hoydich

    In your experience, what’s the “brick wall” that Confucianism introduces?

  60. Andrew Hoydich

    Ah, thank you for explaining that! After attending and thoroughly enjoying an eastern religion course at Rutgers I have acquired a much more educated appreciation for eastern philosophy. It is no secret that our two ways of life have very different ways of doing things and I can now clearly see the brick wall you are talking about. The only way I can think of to truly break down that wall would be to westernize his parents… but that would probably be just as easy as breaking down an actual brick wall with your bare hands

  61. Andrew Hoydich

    “it really is fascinating to be able to sit back at times and reflect on how important but subconscious religion, culture, and philosophy really is.”Although I do not have nearly as much exposure to this topic as you, for whatever my opinion is worth, I couldn’t agree with you more. So much can be understood about people and their behavior by not only viewing the behavior in it’s immediate context, but by bringing what type of environment they come from, what they’ve been through, and their weltanschauung into the equation. Empathizing to phrase it simply. It is such an enlightening experience to be able to take a 3rd person perspective on a situation, such as the one with your nephew and his parents, which is so rich in cultural flavor. You get to see the intended and unintended consequences of peoples actions, the functions that they play, and how the vicious circle keeps on going and going. Having always been fascinated by eastern philosophy, a goal of mine is to live in an eastern country and totally immerse myself in it’s culture with the hopes that it will give me a more complete understanding of the human mind. Knowing that I’ve spent 99% of my life in a western country means that I have an implicitly western view of the world, which is only one half of the big picture. I am envious of your travels and the extent of your exposure when it comes to world philosophies, can’t wait to start travelling myself!

  62. Carl J. Mistlebauer

    Laung Prabang is beautiful, there are so many places in Asia that I love: Bhutan, Burma, Nepal, Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand. Hoping to eventually visit Vietnam.My wife’s family is from Savannakhet; absolutely nothing to see in that part of Laos.

  63. Carl J. Mistlebauer

    Confucianism teaches filial piety, and that is a big brick wall. My nephew is the eldest son, and while he is all “westernized” and envisions himself going off and doing his own thing along with marrying a white woman I have bet him big bucks that he will end up taking over the family business and having his mother end up picking out a nice Chinese girl for him to marry.

  64. Carl J. Mistlebauer

    Right now he is the “manager” of the laundramat, but the golden ring is to take over the apartment complexes….I have done my utmost to run “interference” between this young man and his parents: I am now trying to find a compromise by funding the development of a website to promote the family businesses and then showing him how to take credit for the increase in traffic/business.

  65. Carl J. Mistlebauer

    Having worked overseas for 5 years in the early 80’s and traveled extensively throughout Asia along with my front row seat in regards to family and the fact that I have worked extensively with refugees it really is fascinating to be able to sit back at times and reflect on how important but subconscious religion, culture, and philosophy really is.I always refer to it as “weltanschauung” or how one views the world and their place in it.My nephew is the eldest son and I have always ribbed him about his mother getting him a “chinese princess” for a wife and he would argue with me. He has two older sisters who are married and he believes that he will have the same opportunities he does, what he failed to take into consideration is he has to carry on the family name and continue the bloodline (full chinese blood that is) and while the family is thoroughly westernized from an outwardly appearance there are some relics of culture that take generations to change.I assure you that once this young man hits middle age he will demand the same from his first born son….

  66. Carl J. Mistlebauer

    Andrew,I believe in taking a “3rd Person perspective” in as much of my life as possible; as a manager you have to analyze not only the behavior of others but also reflect on your own behavior and the influence it had on situations. This is true also of sales and marketing and most any other aspect of business, especially as a small company and or start up. You cannot be successful and or grow without also acknowledging your own behavior and reviewing it as objectively as possible.In regards to traveling: I hope you get the opportunity to travel the world! I acknowledge that my own ability to manage and deal with people has been tremendously broadened by my travels.I would advise you to think about the whole concept of “exposure” and maybe read a little Georg Simmel especially “Individuality and Social Forms” because like him I am not sure that us humans can ever be all that objective nor can we truly understand another culture because we will always view the otherness as alien as we have no capacity to relate. I think that to make your experience meaningful you have to allow the other culture to be what it is without making value judgments.You need to realize that you will always be an outsider.But the experience will change you dramatically.Good luck.

  67. Andrew Hoydich

    Carl,Thank you very much for your time and response. You’ve given a warm welcome from the blogging community to a fresh off the boat blogger and it is greatly appreciated.As for the 3rd person perspective, I am also a firm believer in it’s power and the essential role it plays in understanding yourself and the world around you. As I gain more and more experience I am seeing how incredibly important it is, but also how easy it is to fall from that vantage point and become distracted by figments of imagination.I can’t believe you mentioned Simmel! Although I haven’t read that specific piece I’ve read other works of his, one of my favorites being “Fashion”. I was stunned by the insight he provided in that paper and became an instant fan. I’m definitely going to take you’re recommendation and read “Individuality and Social Forms”.I do need to realize that I will always be an outsider, and I hope the experience will change me dramatically!I wish the best of luck to your nephewThanks

  68. Andrew Hoydich

    Carl,Thank you very much for your time and response. You’ve given a warm welcome from the blogging community to a fresh off the boat blogger and it is greatly appreciated.As for the 3rd person perspective, I am also a firm believer in it’s power and the essential role it plays in understanding yourself and the world around you. As I gain more and more experience I am seeing how incredibly important it is, but also how easy it is to fall from that vantage point and become distracted by figments of imagination.I can’t believe you mentioned Simmel! Although I haven’t read that specific piece I’ve read other works of his, one of my favorites being “Fashion”. I was stunned by the insight he provided in that paper and became an instant fan. I’m definitely going to take you’re recommendation and read “Individuality and Social Forms”.I do need to realize that I will always be an outsider, and I hope the experience will change me dramatically!I wish the best of luck to your nephewThanks