Video Of The Week: Coffee With Seth

A month or two ago, I sat down with my friend Seth Goldstein who is writing a book with a colleague called The Secret Of Raising Money (not yet available). We met and chatted over coffee in San Francisco and his colleague filmed the conversation. I noticed that they released a snippet of our conversation yesterday and a couple others on their YouTube channel. So this short 4min snippet of our conversation is my video of the week.


Comments (Archived):

  1. Denis Bulichenko

    Seems like the most important advice is to build a product which everyone uses and is talking about. And not to try to play someone 🙂

    1. Zog

      Are we dealing with people who are truly building business or trying to selling an idea ?

  2. pointsnfigures

    If they try to bullshit you in the process of explaining and in the diligence process, how do you trust them after you write the check? On the flip side, the VC shouldn’t bullshit them either. I like what Fred says-“take their deal, we aren’t ready”-a lot of people would want to stay in the mix, and say nothing.

    1. LE

      how do you trust them after you write the check?I think you are assuming that honesty and trust are static. They aren’t . In my experience. There are plenty of people that I wouldn’t trust as far as I can throw and there are other people who I wouldn’t trust to not screw another person but I totally trust to not screw me.Lot’s of this stuff when discussed in web form reminds me of those lists that women’s magazines have from time to time. The ones that have “turn on’s” and “turn offs” for how women should pick men.One of the big “turn on’s” is that a guy is close with this mother. (And a turn off that he’s not). People swear up and down about that one for some reason. As if it is a deal breaker or maker. Things are never that simple.

  3. JLM

    .One of the world’s biggest problems is the notion that any VC is getting “played”.I think Willie Nelson is looking for a new cause. VC Aid?Let an entrepreneur “play” you once or twice.Sorry.JLM.

    1. fredwilson

      Everyone gets played

      1. jason wright

        yes, and so often it’s a complete waste of energy. people just seem to have so little trust in their fellow human beings. Odd, because we are all related, and more importantly the clock is ticking.

      2. Guest

        everybody pays to play

      3. JLM


  4. JimHirshfield

    Cut off at the end just as he was asking you how you would do it if you were raising money.#VCsInCafesGettingCoffee #NewShows

    1. James Ferguson @kWIQly

      Ditto !

    2. James Ferguson @kWIQly

      Seems the answer to that will be available from Monday !!!

    3. pointsnfigures

      thought the same thing, only the cars would be new porsche’s and high end italian sports cars with some Tesla thrown in.

  5. Yair Riemer

    A nice summary is, “If you care less (and act as if you care less), you have all the leverage.” And it’s true. The VC isn’t “playing hard to get” in this instance, the nuance is really in ‘caring less,’ and having much less to lose than the first time entrepreneur applying the timing pressure. Fred says, “The top VCs are prepared to miss something.” And that’s the key in all negotiations. Those who are prepared to walk away, or ‘care less,’ always have all the leverage.

  6. JimHirshfield

    This reminds me of one of my favorite lines:A sense of urgency on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.(something like that)

    1. sigmaalgebra

      Disqus:(1) When typing into a multiline text box,hitting a left arrow key one too manytimes can cause moving to a newpage, from a different day, and loss ofwhat was entered into the text box.(2) Disqus often takes the keyboardfocus for no good reason. Then, say,the page down key gets discarded.(3) Generally a lot of use of JavaScripton the client side can change standard,expected browser behavior making thea Disqus site have a unique UI not easyto document or learn. One of the hugepoints of the Web was the extent to whichall browsers, HTML, and CSS were standard. Contrast: Can take two weeksto get good with a custom UI, e.g., Microsoft Word. With 100 million+Web sites, each with such a differentUI, the Web would have died. Now withheavy use of JS, each Web site can havea unique UI, and the Web and all suchunique UIs are at risk of dying.At my Web site, the UI is dirt simple andjust standard, old HTML and CSS. Microsoft’s ASP has written a littleclient side JS for me, but I want towrite none and so far have not.

  7. Kirsten Lambertsen

    Aw, man. Stops right when he asks you the most interesting question.I love how your passion still radiates when you talk about this stuff, even after doing it all these years.Seth needs to work on his camera presence. He looks bored (I’m sure he isn’t, but he looks it).

    1. fredwilson

      He may have been

      1. Kirsten Lambertsen

        Ha! I doubt that 🙂

    2. William Mougayar

      I disagree. He was self-effacing himself to give Fred the stage. The best interviewers make the interviewee speak. And Seth did that.

      1. Kirsten Lambertsen

        I agree with you about interviewers.I might be overly critical. I played it again with the sound down. I think it’s the ‘staging’ as much as anything. Fred looks like he’s talking to the back of Seth’s head.You have to forgive me, I have an acting background 🙂 Seth should look at his interviewee the entire time. Fred looks more tuned into Seth than vice versa in this video (eye-contact-wise). Seth might be the kind of person who needs to look into space to hear something. But it comes across as disengaged on video.

        1. LE

          I might be overly critical.See now that’s a women’s thing. I’ve seen this many times (not with you in particular). And aren’t there books about this? Women feeling as if they have to apologize? You don’t. It was your impression and your impression was valid (hey I just validated it).Gut feeling is gut feeling.You have to forgive me, I have an acting background :)You know how you can tell something on TV that is very professional? It tends to be done by the bigger networks (production value wise I don’t mean content) because they have the “a” team).CNN and the also rans don’t have the “a” team. So they don’t come across as sharp. Graphics and all the camera work and even the transitions get fucked up frequently.Anyway I agree with what you are saying (as I with no acting training but a whole lot of observation) think the same.

          1. sigmaalgebra

            > Women feeling as if they have to apologize?Shorter version: She’s a totalsweetheart! That’s why us socially challenged nerds shouldbe really nice to any women whoshow up for this ‘nerd shop talk’!Uh, there’s at least semi-seriousresearch, that likely maybe 20%of mothers know well, that starting in the crib the girlspay attention to people andboy, to things. So, the girlsare connecting with facialexpressions and eye contact,and the boys are tying to hackthe latch on the crib and automate the toy firetruckon the floor! So, no wonderwe nerds are good with thingsand the girls, total sweetheartswith people.I know; I know; it’s not nice tosuggest that there are anydifferences! But, got to beunable to read even this blognot to see that there are somehuge differences!E.g., I had to do some runningaround yesterday afternoonand, near dinner, just gave inand went to a pizza shop fora carry out. So, it was the ownerand six more guys hired justfor the big Friday eveningrush. Then there was thephone. They had three phones.They all rang nearly constantlywith customers placing orders.The only woman working therewas on the phones, and shewas a total sweetheart, practiced, socially skilled,polished, efficient, great toneof voice, no sense of frustration, great articulationand voice volume, etc. — justterrific. No guy in the placewould have been even 10% asgood. Any guy in the placeon those phones would havecost the shop about $50a minute in revenue. Girlsare different! Sometimesthey are just total sweethearts!

          2. LE

            So, the girls are connecting with facial expressions and eye contact, and the boys are tying to hack the latch on the crib and automate the toy firetruck on the floor!According to my controversial theories (I am preemptively calling them controversial) men and/or women who have the same tendencies as the opposite sex have a huge advantage in life. With respect to creativity and sensitivity. I call it the “gay” side. In that direction but not enough to change sexual orientation. So you are a man but you are also sensitive in the way that women are.This loosely relates to why secret service agents use prostitutes. Because they are heavy in manliness it’s not like I am ever going to take a bullet for anyone. Hence they are also more likely to do something that I would never do. And we need people like that because I am not man enough.Also kind of relates to why the best man for a women to have are often those that have a love for minutia, triviality and drama. Love when the wife comes home with a good story about her friends in a fight! Maybe they even watch “Real Housewives” and enjoy it. They make good mates for women and their stories. And have a sensitive side.

          3. MG

            you crack me up

          4. sigmaalgebra

            > So you are a man but you are also sensitive in the way that women are.No, not at all. It took me seeminglyforever even to start to understandwomen. I had to study womenlike a guy from Mars would haveto study a life form from Venus –essentially just scientifically, likea research project.Intuitively, in my gut, I still don’tunderstand women at all well.E.g., there’s no way I could act like a woman in any sense,even just via voice, even justvia typing into a blog.It was one heck of a researchproject. Women started on beinggood at being women long beforeI started trying to understand them,and I well never catch up. WhenI started my wife had died, andI had social skills less good thanany normal six year old girl(actually a six year old girlcan be pretty good — theycan be amazing — e.g., somechild actresses).A common situation is girls/ women who really don’t expectboys/ men to understand girls/ women. So, the girls/women just expect ‘boys willbe boys’. One mistake I madeearly on was trying to be especially protective and niceto girls when the girl in questionreally expected me just to pin her against a wall or pinher on the floor and just plant a kiss on her. Fine withme, if I’d known that, but I didn’t. More generally, thereare some cliche ‘roles’ formen, and a lot of girls/ womenjust accept and expect boys/men just to play such roles andcan get disappointed and confused otherwise. Tookme a long time to see that.One of my big, early lessonswas “Of COURSE, women areMUCH more emotional thanmen. That is the cause of allthe problems [between men andwomen].” Soooooo, it’s aboutemotions, right? Okay. Asa boy, early on I was taughtthat emotions, especially mine,were worthless, of no concern.And I was taught that what Iwanted was nearly irrelevantand, instead, what was justcrucial was applying goodjudgment independent of anyemotions. It took me a whileto learn that in many parts oflife, although not all, this lessonis a bit too severe and even ifperson A follows it if only forthemselves usually person Bwill get confused at the severity.Another big lesson is, any suchseverity can be a big problem.Basically such severity makesothers feel uncomfortable.It took me a very long time torealize that heavily girls/ womencommunicate with tone of voice,facial expressions, body language,and what they didn’t say but, inliteral terms, might have said.So, have to learn to read suchthings, and that’s not so easy.The first place a boy is supposedto learn such reading is from hismother: My Mom was quite bright and terrific at many thingsbut not at training my brotherand I in such ‘reading’.The learning went on and on. There were many books.And there was some ‘fieldparticipant observation’ likethat woman on the phone last night at the pizza shop.At this point, I’ve mostly setaside this little research project and gotten back tomy usual interests and mystartup. My next concernabout women will be when Ihave to hire some; then Iwill have to restart the research project.But, one big lesson is, formost of what men need toget along with women, thesecret is just (1) have a lotof money and (2) play arole as a boy/ man that girls/ women can easilyunderstand. Then let thegirl/ woman do nearly all thehard work to make the relationship work.

          5. LE

            I had to study womenlike a guy from Mars would haveto study a life form from Venus –essentially just scientifically, likea research project. I had that down pat without breaking a sweat. Intuitively, in my gut, I still don’tunderstand women at all well.Opposite with me. there’s no way I could act like a woman in any sense,even just via voice, even justvia typing into a blog.act like a woman in any sense,even just via voiceI could never understand guys in college who actually liked to dress up like a women for plays. That said sans the makeup and dress (which would weird me out) I could probably do a good job at that for fun. One mistake I madeearly on was trying to beespecially protective and niceto girls when the girl in questionreally expected me just topin her against a wall or pinher on the floor and justplant a kiss on her.Yeah that’s that entire “like the bad boy” thing. Go figure. It took me a very long time torealize that heavily girls/ womencommunicate with tone of voice,facial expressions, body language,and what they didn’t say but, inliteral terms, might have said.So, have to learn to read suchthings, and that’s not so easy.Do you have a touch of aspergers or similar dx? Wouldn’t surprise me given the way you write.You know one of the ways women control men is with “that look”. Seen any old movies with (what’s her name?) Eva Gardner and Frank Sinatra. That “I’m disappointed” upset look is what gets men all tangled up in knots. My Mom was quitebright and terrific at many thingsbut not at training my brotherand I in such ‘reading’. So either your mom didn’t have “that look” or you weren’t particularly bothered by “that look” because of my speculative dx. Further speculation says that the bartenders wife also has “that look” that keeps the bartender in line. [1] (1) have a lotof money and (2) play arole as a boy/ man thatgirls/ women can easilyunderstand. On target. #1 is the “gun” in “you get more with a kind word and a gun than a kind world alone”.[1] For those not familiar search for “avc bartender”.

          6. sigmaalgebra

            > Do you have a touch of aspergers or similar dx? Wouldn’t surprise me given the way you write.No, not at all. Instead, there are no perfect families; no one gets to age 21 without some bruises and missing lessons. Then need to do some make up work for the missing lessons and to heal the bruises.> So either your mom didn’t have “that look” or you weren’t particularly bothered by “that look” because of my speculative dx.No, she was preoccupied, in her case, with social climbing. She was quite good at it.

          7. Kirsten Lambertsen

            🙂 I’ll probably never object to being called a ‘sweetheart.’But I’m also a nerd (why I’m here!). And I’ve been called a badass many many times.

          8. sigmaalgebra

            You are a sweetheart becauseyou grew up as a girl and haveother such advantages! No waycan boys/ men be sweethearts,especially nerds!Being a nerd is not so difficult –it’s much easier for you to bea nerd than for a boy to haveyour social talents and skills!For being a “bad ass”, not achance! Growing up, boys get called everything their peers, parents, and teacherscan think of, get into afterschool fights, get things thrownat them, have gangs tryingto attack them, etc. So,boys know what a real bad assis! I never saw a bad ass girland have nearly never see abad ass woman! People canget called all kinds of things,for all kinds of reasons or noreason at all, and still thosethings don’t have to be true.I don’t believe you are a bad ass at all! It just doesn’tfit!

          9. Kirsten Lambertsen

            It is true that women apologize for their opinions far more often than men do. Every time I apologize, I wonder if I’m doing “that.”OTOH, William and I are friends. With friends I (i) edit myself less, and (ii) always try to stay open to their point of view.Regarding a one-camera setup: it does seem like this campaign warrants a more sophisticated operation. But like you say, having three cameras won’t make Seth look any more attentive ;)Frankly, limitation is the mother of invention, quite often. Having a single camera doesn’t mean the shot can’t be arranged in a visually appealing way. They should shoot a few mock interviews and nail down a basic formula that works (and how to sit up straight and look at your guest when he’s talking).

        2. William Mougayar

          No need to apologize. You’re right that the format/shooting wasn’t great, but I focused on the content, not the form. The sound quality from Fred’s mic was pretty good.

      2. JLM

        .I think he was playing Fred.JLM.

        1. LE

          How so?

          1. JLM

            .He made our Fred do all the work.He let Fred run like a 5-lbs rainbow trout.JLM.

          2. LE

            Well I have to say that gross interpretation of this (facial, verbal, tone, micro expressions) is “my thing”.And I’m simply not seeing evidence of Seth, a friend of Fred, interviewing him to write a book, is playing Fred. By my definition of playing.But if it’s there, and I missed it, I’d like to know what you are seeing that I am missing.He is asking a question and Fred is supplying an answer to that question.An example of “Playing” to me would be something like Barbara Walters [1] trying to ask certain questions to get an interviewee to cry or reveal something they wouldn’t normally do. But even then anyone dealing with her knows that so I’m not sure it’s exactly an ambush and may very well be agreed in advance by both sides.[1] http://www.chicagotribune.c

        2. Kirsten Lambertsen

          Ha! Playing hard to get?

        3. William Mougayar

          He made him speak. It helped that they know each other. Fred opens-up more to those he knows and trusts.

          1. fredwilson

            everyone does

          2. William Mougayar


    3. Salt Shaker

      Hear what you’re saying, but it’s really the shortcomings of a one camera shoot and the environment (Starbucks vs. a soundstage).

      1. LE

        I think it’s about the amount of attention and quality you put into something. I put more effort into a wedding video that I shot for free for someone. People who care about quality (and know what it is) do a good job because it doesn’t feel right to not do a good job. Not even because they have to.Hating to refer to Jobs but it’s like the time his father told him why it mattered what the fence was painted when nobody saw it. “Because you will know”.That said if you aren’t on this wavelength the concept isn’t going to resonate with you. That could be an advantage of disadvantage depending on the type of entrepreneur you are. Not everyone needs to care about the details.

        1. sigmaalgebra

          How to do such a video?What cameras?What microphones, deployedhow?How to have just one channelfor the audio while have several cameras to selectfrom for the video with theaudio always still in sync witheach of the video streams?What data formats?What editing software?What software for sound editing and mixing?Heck, I still have a sack ofold Nikon SLR equipment.

          1. LE

            When I was in college I did photography. I was given a job to take pictures of a new office. I had never done color photography with fluorescent lights. But I sensed that something would be different because I knew enough by osmosis to know about color balance. (Hadn’t taken any photography courses I prefer to learn on my own I hate having to sit and listen.) So I did some research (and this was obviously when you had to go to a library) or maybe I went to a camera store and asked questions. And came up with the right film so the photos wouldn’t look green.So to answer your question in the day of the internet everything you asked above is answered on the net in excruciating detail. After all we know it can be done and we also know that there are plenty of low cost film students even if we don’t want to diy the process.Anyway, not to answer your entire question but the sound recording on one of my simple rx100ii sony cameras is pretty good and you can strip out the sound track obviously. And that doesn’t even use a microphone.Edit: Yes it uses a microphone you know what I mean. I mean a visible microphone.

          2. sigmaalgebra

            Thanks. Good to know thatthe answers, in case I need them, are now readily available on theInternet.

    4. LE

      Seth needs to work on his camera presence.Agree. It’s a bit aspy and sloppy actually.Otoh it’s a one camera shoot. I would have done it with three cameras. Cameras are cheap and editing isn’t a big deal.

  8. James Ferguson @kWIQly

    Must cry foul – Totally unfair !The video stops with the unanswered question – “How would you do it? – You were raising $100K – $1M , you had no pedigree, you had an idea that …”It would be great to include the answer another time. Maybe AFTER the book has sold a gazillion !Nonetheless a really great interview – It speaks to developing your Batna and highlights the dangers of overplaying it !

    1. Kirsten Lambertsen

      Maybe we can convince Fred to restate his answer as an upcoming blog post.

      1. michaelgsimpson

        Thanks for such a great interview Fred. For everyone who has asked to see the rest of the interview – you will be able to access it on Tuesday when the book launches.

  9. William Mougayar

    What a great video tease & hook for the book.

  10. jason wright

    cut off in full flow at 4:12…….and, this clip makes me feel i’m intruding on a confidential negotiation that’s gone public.

  11. Salt Shaker

    Classic cliffhanger tease….just like who killed JR or classic episodes of Batman ?…Tune-in next week…same time, same bat channel (You Tube). Cast: Fred (Batman), Seth (Robin) w/ special guest commenter JH (The Joker).

    1. sigmaalgebra

      You’re talking ‘freemium’, right?

  12. Jeff Gray

    Great — but you ended at the most intriguing part of the discussion.

  13. Alex

    Fred (or anybody that knows the answer), did you custom build the commenting system below. Or is this a plug-in/API? Love it. It’s clean, it’s neat, it’s not facebook comments. thx

    1. LE

      While people here might laugh and say “how does he not know it’s disqus for comments” you raise an interesting point.While Fred (and usv) is an investor in disqus (which is the commenting system here) there is nothing that I am seeing branding wise that would tell anyone that.So it’s good you made this Hirshfield, Ha

  14. LE

    Great video!A few thoughts. I think it’s foolish for anyone that is wet behind the ears tothink they are going to be able to play someone who is good at negotiation and hasbeen doing it for a long time. And has all sorts of pattern evidence. And “wet” has perhaps read some books or maybe has done it a few times. Guess what? You get better over time.As far as bluffing, bluffing works to the degree that either side in the bluff needs the deal. So a bluff might work if the other side to the bluff has a fear of losing out. (More or less what Fred is saying about less prominent VC’s) They won’t want to take a chance that the bluff is true. So they will err on the safe side. And possibly overpay. (Of course this also ties into how much of a gambler someone is and other factors. That’s actually a really big factor.)One of the first things I say to people when buying something (for them) is that the degree to which I can be reckless, and get a good price, is related to how much they need what I am buying for them. If the degree to which you want the object is “must” that greatly reduces the games that I can play. Otoh if there is plan b and plan c I can play around more and possibly get a vastly better price. Timing also matters when bluffing. If you have plenty of time you can afford to bluff because you can always BS your way back into a deal. (Inverse of time kills all deals).

  15. LE

    One thing I never do (and I mean as close to never as possible since there are always exceptions) is tell someone that I know the game that they are playing.To me that’s a fundamental mistake.Using the example of a car dealer (which is similar to Fred’s “go with the other VC”) many times people go in and try to bluff the car dealer into believing that another dealer will sell a car for less.At that point car dealers do a number of things.They may say “show me the other deal”. They don’t really need that of course because they absolutely know the range to which other dealers will sell.They may say “well then I think that’s a good deal so go with that”. Bad, gives buyer no way to save face.They may try to downplay the deal and tell you there will be extra charges or the price isn’t really the price.They may fully well know you are lying about everything and tell you that.And they can tell you that either outright (which is pretty rare) or by saying “show me the deal” or “well then go with the other guy”.To me (and with my style – which isn’t the only style for sure) this is a mistake. I never want the other guy to think that I think he is bluffing and that is the reason I am doing what I am doing. I’d rather have them believe that I believe them and can’t offer a lower price.Along those lines you would think the correct thing to do is say “well then go with the other guy”. But if you do that you are then giving the buyer no way to save face. Because they will then have to admit they were bluffing to get back into the deal. And many times people will spite themselves to not admit they were lying. And unless they are really good at bs they won’t be able to come up with words to do it. So they will go with the other guy.Anyway, in that case (meaning know the other guy is bluffing) I would tend to basically stick to my price, make you think that I believe you (by not even asking to see proof of the other deal) and try to sell you on why you should go with me.This shows that I trust you and that I won’t give a better price. And also gives you a way to save face since you can agree to my deal w/o feeling that you are losing face.(Not sure I explained this concept correctly hope the meaning comes across).

    1. sigmaalgebra

      When I bought my first new car, I hada simpler approach: I’d decided on justwhat I wanted. It would have to be orderedfrom the factory. I guessed at a price thatwas too low. Then I started with myintended dealer, relatively close and just made him an offer at that too low price.He turned it down. Fine. So, off to eachof the other 3-4 dealers with the same price.They all turned it down. Fine. So, Iincreased my offering amount a little andstarted again with my first dealer. Stilleveryone turned it down. Then one moreiteration starting at my favorite dealer again. Then that dealer got serious,got the sales manager into the deal,and made me a counter offer just a fewdollars over my offer. Sold!The key, of course, is having several dealers all in essentially direct competition.Apply to VCs? Maybe! If have a viabledeal at some terms, then pick some termsthat are too good and e-mail all theinterested VCs. Wait a day, pick someterms slightly better for the VCs ande-mail again. Continue iterating. Toheck with considering negotiatingtactics, body language, facial expressions,tone of voice, threats, bluffs, etc. Justiterate.

  16. george

    I’ve been on both sides of such negotiations; time/urgency can signal many things, it’s rarely a perfect process. It comes down to servicing your business and personal needs, the choices presented and your effectiveness – financial opportunities/acquisition cost, hopefully you stack the deck in your favor.

  17. aminTorres

    Ok?Where is the rest of the video?What did you say to the last question? – that’s an AVC blogpost right there.

  18. LE

    As far as “even that is a big red flag to me why are you trying to pull that” I think you need to know that there is entire group of people out there who have been raised in a way that “playing games” is part of how business is done. And within reason points are not taken for certain games but almost expected. And you play around them.While it might not be your style, and you are more of a straight shooter with respect to this, (so consequently it’s a turnoff and not the type of entrepreneur that you want to invest in which is fine) to me I look at it as a positive sometimes (and once again a matter of degree and nuance that is hard to put in words).I’ll give you an example with attorneys. I don’t want an attorney who is totally sleazy and I don’t want an attorney that is totally by the book. Neither do you of course. Same with an accountant. I want someone who (according to my standards) has the proper degree of risk taking and can feel the nuance and make a decision that is right given the circumstances. Many entrepreneurs pick up attorneys when they see a guy who is working for an adversary and like the games that they play “I want that guy working for me he’s a sharp operator and knows how to play the game”.An entrepreneur needs to take risks and play games. Zuckerberg could have gotten his hand caught in the cookie jar but he didn’t and he hit a home run. The Winklevi were more straight shooters (if you believe the movie and popular culture) and so they were taken advantage of by Zuck. Maybe Zuck was to sleazy maybe not. (Jobs is another example and Gates as well). I hate to take outlier examples to prove my point but unfortunately the situations I have observed other the years nobody knows about.So I guess my point is that while it could be a big red flag I don’t think it’s a big red flag without the context of other things that are going on in the deal or with the person.Bluffing is common in negotiation. The fact that someone young gets it wrong doesn’t surprise me or upset me. Otoh someone who has been around for a long time and gets it wrong that would be a big red flag. Or if you have entered into a relationship (as opposed to are merely starting one) you definitely expect a greater degree of trust from someone you deal with. [1] Joanne lying to you is not the same as Joanne lying to you when you knew her for 2 weeks.[1] This is the danger of writing a comment like this. Because it’s impossible to cover all bases and people will jump on something that you say and take it out of context.

    1. Andrew Kennedy

      People amaze me on a daily basis. I’ve seen much of what you talk about above as I am sure others here have as well. Your concern with being able to put out a Full thought without having to defend each little piece is based on “trust”. When you have the benefit of the doubt (some rapport) you get to share a full thought, otherwise each word might be the last someone really listens to. Words mean different things to different people.

      1. LE

        Exactly. But the thing is I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks (generally I mean sure I would love if someone likes what I say and validation) and I’m not running a popularity contest or anything like that. Have never done that. Because I have seen and have learned that even if you have a halo you can go from hero to zero really quickly. (Look at what is happening to Christie right now..)Most importantly you can write the most all inclusive “to be sure” filled non controversial comment or article in the world. But that also assumes that everyone is going to read and fully understand and that they aren’t biased up front to begin with. Anyway, what fun would that be?

  19. Richard

    My answer is final and I wish to congratulate you on your new business and I’m sure you’ll do very well and good luck with that. Especially since your interests don’t conflict with mine. Thank you.

    1. sigmaalgebra

      But Sonny liked the deal!After giving that answer, don’t walkalone to buy fruit from a street vendor?

      1. Richard

        Notice the different effect between “my answer is final” and “the answer is final” or “final is the answer”.

        1. sigmaalgebra

          You lost me.Eventually my take on the meeting was that Coppola was trying to suggest thatVito was trying to move intoa life role and self image ofmore ‘respectability’, e.g.,like what he wanted for Michael,”Senator Corleone”, etc.and wanted to be free to walk the streets with safetyto buy some fruit from a street vendor.

        2. LE

          Not super familiar with that scene but one thing I will say is that the placement of the words and use of words even if essentially saying the same thing absolutely does mean something.So even though:I’m sure you’ll do very well and good luck with that….essentially is the same as I wish you luck going forwardwhich translates to “don’t let the door hit you when leaving”.The former however shows that the person saying cares enough to add a personal touch. So even if they are grin fucking you a bit (thanks M suster) they are showing more respect when doing so. And that does mean something. You have to care enough to give a good excuse for not coming to the party, not just say “sorry but we can’t make it….”

  20. seth goldstein

    not my best performance as an active listener! but the conversation was great, and i am glad to get some good nuggets out of you fred. never hear the term “aspy” before, but point well taken. this was the first interview we did for the book, and it was at the battery in sf with a simple sony cybershot camera, and we were getting all sorts of looks from mgmt who ended up shutting us down (no photos/filming at the battery as per its guidelines!)

    1. MG

      i liked everything about it. good work

    2. Kirsten Lambertsen

      I’m still excited to read the book, based upon the videos 🙂 The content is compelling.Hopefully, the feedback was useful. That’s how it was intended, from me, anyway.

  21. Zaizhuang